BIG BOOKSTUDIES.THE STEPS IN 4 HOURS.SOBERING UP

Due to the high demand for the Steps in 4 hours internet meetings are being arranged

2012-01-16T16:53:00.002Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Due to the high demand for the Steps in 4 hours internet meetings are being arranged

Remember, studying the steps is not the same as taking the Steps.

2012-01-10T10:22:00.000Z

The Big Book says, "Here are the steps we took" NOT "here are the steps we read and talked about." The AA pioneers proved that action, not knowledge, produced the spiritual awakening that resulted in recovery from alcoholism or addiction.

A Deep Breath of Life.

2012-01-08T17:33:00.002Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.When an act in life counts, there is a source of strength within us that grows to meet the challenge. Some people demonstrate superhuman abil–ities, such as pushing a wrecked car off an injured person. Where do they find the strength? It was within them all the time; the worst brought out the best.
I pray to be big enough to handle
whatever comes before me.
With Your help, I can and will do anything.
The power of God is within me.
The Grace of God surrounds me.
This meditation is an excerpt from Alan Cohen's meditation book, A Deep Breath of Life.

Don't believe a word I say , do not take what I say as the truth just because I say it or anybody else, for that matter. Check it out for yourself.

2012-01-08T17:29:00.002Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Don't believe a word I say , do not take what I say as the truth just because I say it or anybody else, for that matter. Check it out for yourself. Try it on for size. Investigate , find out for YOURSELF only use what you have read or heard as a reference point. Find the truth out for yourself . This way it is your TRUTH not someone else's. You will also not be believing a lie or untruth if you always check things for yourself . Do not believe everything you are told or read without checking it out.

Dream Healers epistles, A Journey towards God

2012-01-06T12:09:00.002Z

Coming to the end of my time in Spain and Portugal.I look back on a time of unequal spiritual growth and understanding.In effect the person I brought to Spain in late September 2010 is not the one I am with today.The Spiritual growth has surprised me as after 30 years in the fellowships and much work in the fellowships and lay charities I thought I had seen everything.Seen everything but experienced nothing.The conversion from a skeptic to a believer has been rapid.The understanding or coming to believe has freed me from some of the burdens of self.The humility of having to do the 12 step program in 4 hours and the discipline and commitment it requires has freed me from a lot of materialistic dross.Each time I partake another layer falls away and I learn something wonderful and new.

My new friends and contacts are as if they are old family friends and I value each highly.The lessons I have learned during the 85 continuous days of meetings are perhaps the most important and not in a co-dependant way as they revealed the true joy and structure of the fellowship.The rich welcome from my friends within Alanon and the grace and courage that they used opened gently the doors to the wider understanding of the grace of God.The true extent of the awakening I have yet to experience the legacy of the steps challenges us all to constantly work with the hopeless and dispossessed of which we have been one.The new challenge I have been asked to participate in is the Traditions in 4 hours.Therefore I look forward to new revelations within my life.
In the next few days I will be travelling up threw Spain and back to the United Kingdom I ask for the grace of God ,my higher power to go and remain with me.The Spiritual lessons of humility tolerance and love are a lasting reminder of the last five wonderful months living a gypsy existence on the road in Southern Spain and 85 wonderful meetings and the convention which has changed my life.DREAMWARRIOR

A Journey towards God

The ferry bumps , lurches staggering its way across the Bay of Biscay leaving behind a Europe in Crisis.The hotel in Santander reminding me old values of bygone age Victoriana with wi-fi.The town deserted by the three king brigade of festival partygoers shivered in the keen January weather.The deceptive twelve degrees showing on the mini cooper plastic dash as the car sort to shake off its accumulated four months of Spanish mountain road dust. Failing to take into account the biting northerly breeze reminding me of the 1000 miles of journeying forever northwards again.Four brief months earlier with the weather starting its annual deteration I had travelled this route sick and ill with the accumulated dross of forty years of hard living.Now was the time to take stock and look at my newly found inventory of that four interesting months.I had felt as though I was the recipient of old memories and that the good times what ever they had been were behind me on arriving in Spain this illusion was to persist for sometime.

The shock of a late night drive threw an unknown land was quickly impressed on me by my failure to update my satnav.The drive onto the plains surrounding Madrid included streaches of unrecognized autopista and roadworks the journey soaked up time with large white mercedes vans loaming out of tne darknes at breakneck speeds with headlights ablaze throwing the interior into instant illumination.The doubts and lack of planning for the journey invading my tired mind.The reality sharply contrasting from the cosy ideal of scaty armchair planning and a doubt starting in my mind could I given the circumstances place any reliance on my judgement or that of the out of date satnav.The lack of human contact to bounce my ideas of started to cloud my judgement.

INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS AT NEW YEARS FESTIVITIES,I hate, I reject your festivals

2012-01-02T11:11:00.000Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.I hate, I reject your festivals, Nor do I delight in your solemn assemblies. 22 "Even though you offer up to Me burnt offerings and your grain offerings, I will not accept them; And I will not even look at the peace offerings of your fatlings. 23 "Take away from Me the noise of your songs; I will not even listen to the sound of your harps. 24 "But let justice roll down like waters And righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. (Amos 5.21)

struggled with the 3rd step until another AA member said to me:

2011-12-31T13:46:00.000Z

Will = Thoughts

Lives = Actions

When I say the 3rd step using these words, things make more sense to me.

CANDIDATE A.A. PRINCIPLES

2011-12-31T13:41:00.000Z

Abandonment
Abstinence
Acceptance
Activity
Altruism
Amendment
Anonymity
Clean Thinking
Compassion
Confession
Consideration *
Constructiveness
Courage
Discovery
Energy
Faith Forgiveness
Generosity *
Good nature
Health
Helpfulness *
High-Mindedness
Honesty *
Hope
Humility *
Integrity
Justice
Kindness *
Love *
Meditatation
Moderation
Modesty * Open-mindedness
Optimism
Patience *
Prayer
Perseverance
Positive-Thinking
Promptness
Recovery
Reflection
Responsibility
Restitution
Self-control
Self-discovery
Self-forgetfulness
Self-Sacrifice * Self -valuation
Selflessness
Sensibility *
Service
Simplicity
Sobriety *
Spirituality
Straightforwardness
Surrender
Tactfulness *
Tolerance *
Trust
Truthfulness
Understanding *
Unity .DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder

.PRAYERS OF THE STEPS

2011-12-30T11:15:00.002Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder

1ST STEP

God, Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind, Spirit of Nature or Spirit of the Universe my name is ______, And I'm a real alcoholic ... and I need your help today.
(pg.. 10-2, 46, & Chp. 3 BB)

2nd STEP

God, I'm standing at the turning point right now. Give me your protection and care as I abandon myself to you and give up my old ways and my old ideas just for today.
AMEN
(p. 59 BB)

3rd STEP

"God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" (p. 63 BB) God, Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live. AMEN
(the step on p. 59 BB)

4th STEP

WHEN IN DOUBT
"I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Then only might I expect to receive. But that would be in great measure."
(p.13)

WHEN I AM DISTURBED BY THE CONDUCT (SYMPTOMS) OF OTHERS
"This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
(p. 67 BB)

God help me to show this person the same tolerance, pity and patience that I would Cheerfully grant a sick friend. This is a sick person, how can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.
(see above and p. 141 of 12&12)

WHEN I AM AFRAID
"We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be."
(p. 68 BB)

God, relieve me of this fear and direct my attention to what you would have me be. AMEN
(see above)

WHEN I AM AWARE OF MY OWN DEFECTS AND SEEKING GOD'S HELP TO CHANGE
"We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. . . we ask God what we should do about each specific matter."
(p. 69 BB)

God mold my ideals in this particular area of my life and help me to live up to them. What should I do in each specific matter? Guide me God and give me strength to do right. AMEN
(see above)

5th STEP

God I thank you from the bottom of my heart that I know you better. Help me become aware of anything I have omitted discussing with another person. Help me to do what is necessary to walk a free man at last. AMEN
(p. 75 BB)

6th STEP

God help me become willing to let go of all the things to which I still cling. Help me to be ready to let You remove all of these defects, that Your will and purpose may take their place. AMEN
(p. 76 BB)

7th STEP

"I humbly offered myself to God, as I then understood Him, to do with me as He would. I placed myself unreservedly under His care and direction. I admitted for the first time that of myself I was nothing; that without Him I was lost. I ruthlessly faced my sins and became willing to have my new-found Friend take them away, root and branch."
(p. 13)

"My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen."
(p. 76 BB)

8th STEP

"We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves. If we haven’t the will to do this, we ask until it comes."
(p. 76 BB)

God help me to become willing to sweep away the debris of self will and self reliant living. Thy will be done for this person as well as for me. AMEN
(see above)

9th STEP

God give me the strength and direction to do the right thing no matter what the consequences may be. Help me to consider others and not harm them in any way. Help me to consult with others before I take any actions that would cause me to be sorry. Help me to not repeat such behaviors. Show me the way of Patience, Tolerance, Kindliness, and Love and help me live the spiritual life. AMEN
(p. 78-80 BB)

10th STEP

God remove the Selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear that has cropped up in my life right now. Help me to discuss this with someone immediately and make amends quickly if I have harmed anyone. Help me to cease fight anything and anyone. Show me where I may be helpful to someone else. Help me react sanely; not cocky or afraid. How can I best serve You - Your will, not mine be done. AMEN
(p. 84-5 BB)

"How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done."
(p. 85 BB)

11th STEP

The story of a chronic relapsing alcoholic addict

2011-12-29T19:56:00.002Z

The story of a chronic relapsing alcoholic addict who fell into a hole and how he found his way out of a seemingly hopeless situation

A hopeless chronic relapsing alcoholic addict had fallen into a hole and could not find a way out.

A businessman happened to pass by and heard the alcoholic addict crying out for help in a sincere and despairing appeal, "I cannot go on like this! I have everything to live for! I must stop, but I cannot! You must help me!" So the businessman gave him a ladder to climb out of the hole with, but the chronic relapser sold it to finance his next spree only to realize afterwards that his hole was now deeper than ever!

A doctor who was walking by heard the alcoholic addict crying out for help, stopping the doctor said, "Here, take these pills, it will relieve your pain." The alcoholic addict took the pills and said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still painfully aware that he was stuck in the hole.

A clergyman happened to be strolling by and hearing the alcoholic addict calling out for help. Stopping, he gave the alcoholic addict a Bible, replying, "I'll say a prayer for you." He got down on this knees and prayed for the alcoholic addict, then left. The alcoholic addict was very grateful and thanked the preacher for the Bible which he read, but realized he was still stuck in the hole.

A renowned psychiatrist walked by and heard the alcoholic addict pleading for help. He stopped and said, "How did you find yourself in that hole? Were you born there? Are your parents to blame? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the alcoholic addict talked with the psychiatrist for approximately an hour, then the psychiatrist said he had to leave, but he would come back next week. The alcoholic addict thanked the psychiatrist for his time even though he was still stuck in his hole.

Finally a 'recovered' alcoholic addict happened to be passing by and heard the poor man's cries for help. Right away, the recovered alcoholic addict jumped into the hole with him. The suffering alcoholic addict said, "Why did you do that? Now we're both stuck here in this god forsaken hole!" But the recovered alcoholic addict said with a twinkle in his eye, "It's okay brother, I've been here before; I know the way out!"

Remarkable results as the Costa del Sol is taken by the steps in 4hours.Hopeless relapsers take to the steps.

2011-12-29T19:35:00.000Z

Remarkable results as the Costa del Sol is taken by the steps in 4hours.Hopeless relapsers take to the steps.Cameron F takes his message of recovery onto the Costa and Big T takes it to the Algarve.

Twelve Step Program for Big Book Sponsorship

2011-12-29T19:28:00.002Z

Hear renowned addiction speaker, Chris Raymer talk about the solution, not the problem.

Recorded June 25, 2005, All Addictions Anonymous Conference, Toronto, ON

We admitted we were powerless over our addictions - that our lives had become unmanageable. Take this self-assessment test and find out!
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Download Step 4 guide and worksheets.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Download Steps 8 and 9 guide and worksheets.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Download our daily program of action guide and worksheets (Steps 10 and 11).
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Download this FREE 12 Step workbook that guides the newcomer through all 12 steps.

The Muckers say A.A. has lost its course.

2011-12-29T19:06:00.002Z

BACK TO BASICS FOR ADDICTS

"Up there," says James, a slim, muscular Bay Street executive in his early 40s, as he points to a gleaming office tower in Toronto's financial district. "That's where I work. Up on the 50th floor." On a noon-hour stroll through a downtown park, James admits that he is lucky to still hold a job anywhere. For years, he confides quietly, he was addicted to cocaine, a problem he kept concealed from his blue chip employer. At the height of his addiction, he confesses, he routinely blew $1,000 a weekend on the potent white powder. By Monday morning, he was exhausted, often unable to work. But a year ago, after numerous attempts to quit, James turned to a small but growing self-help organization called The Muckers Anonymous Inc. "My cravings went away and never returned," he says. "It was like someone with terminal cancer waking up one day to discover the disease was gone. It was remarkable."

There is, however, nothing remarkable about the Muckers' technique. According to a 52 year old recovered alcoholic named Jim who helped start the Toronto-based group in early 1995, the Muckers rely on intense study of the 57-year -old book Alcoholics Anonymous, known to A.A. adherents as the Big Book, and the Twelve Step approach outlined in the first 103 pages. Nevertheless, the group has become embroiled in a dispute with A.A. and several other self-help groups that resembles a battle between fundamentalists and mainstream Christians. Among other things, those groups say that the Muckers, so named because they frequently muck up the Big Book by underlining key passages and phrases, have a zealous approach to recovery from addiction that excludes anything but the twelve step method. "There's a huge backlash from the established groups," says James.

Last fall, A.A. representatives in Toronto removed the Muckers from their list of approved groups after discovering that their meetings covered various kinds of addictions, rather than just alcoholism. In May, A.A. ousted two members from elected positions as co-ordinators of treatment center meetings because they had been espousing the Muckers' philosophy. Representatives of A.A. are reluctant to comment on the Muckers or to discuss the relative merits of their approaches. "The Big Book hasn't changed," said Ron, a high-ranking official for eastern and central Ontario. "Its worked for almost sixty years."

Some treatment centers have also rejected the Muckers. Alpha House Inc., a rehabilitation facility treating various addictions, has instructed staff and residents to avoid the Muckers. "The bottom line is that Muckers seem to be obsessed with their way being the only way," stated a memo to employees. On the other hand, the Donwood Institute, a well established, Toronto recovery facility, has allowed the Muckers to hold weekly meetings, which Donwood clients can attend. "Some of them found it quite helpful," says Dennis James, vice-president of the Donwood health recovery program.

The Muckers contend that they are maintaining the original traditions of A.A. They charge that A.A. has drifted away from the Big Book and the 12-step approach that its founders, Bill Wilson, a New York City stockbroker, and Bob Smith, a physician from Ohio, developed in the mid-1930s to cope with their own alcoholism. According to the Muckers, many A.A. groups pay lip service to the sanctity of the Big Book but no longer insist that a recovering alcoholic must use it. "A.A.'s message has become broader and diluted," says John, a 35-year- old alcoholic, drug addict and staunch Mucker. "We stick to the original text."

The cornerstone of the Mucker approach is called "booking," in which a member of the group works one-on-one with a recovering alcoholic or addict. They spend up to three hours a day, usually over a two-to-three-week period, studying the Big Book, line by line and phrase by phrase. Among other things, the recovering addict must admit personal failings and weaknesses and make amends to people he has harmed through his addiction. Some Muckers who belonged to A.A. say they became disenchanted by that organization's move away from its original policy of one-on-one therapy in favour of personal or group study. And some longtime A.A. members confirm the trend. "You just don't see a lot of people going through the book one-on-one anymore," said Gord, who has belonged to A.A. for 35 years.

The Muckers have been booking about 100 people a month, according to Jim, and the fellowship now has about 2,000 members, almost all in the Toronto area. Some recently recovered addicts say they have experienced moments of profound spiritual contentment while being booked. "I had this sense of absolute peace," recalls Tory, a film-maker in his mid-30s who was battling alcoholism and heroin addiction. "I couldn't see anything or hear anything. It was almost like the first few seconds of a drug overdose." Since then, Tory says, he has not been tormented by his old cravings. And for that, he is both relieved and grateful.

The root of prayer is interior silence.

2011-12-28T20:09:00.000Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.We begin our prayer by disposing our body. Let it be relaxed and calm, but inwardly alert.

The root of prayer is interior silence. We may think of prayer as thoughts or feelings expressed in words. But this is only one expression. Deep prayer is the laying aside of thoughts. It is the opening of mind and heart, body and feelings - our whole being - to God, the Ultimate Mystery, beyond words, thoughts, and emotions. We do not resist them or suppress them. We accept them as they are and go beyond them, not by effort, but by letting them all go by. We open our awareness to the Ultimate Mystery whom we know by faith is within us, closer than breathing, closer than thinking, closer than choosing - closer than consciousness itself. The Ultimate Mystery is the ground in which our being is rooted, the Source from whom our life emerges at every moment.

We are totally present now with the whole of our being, in complete openness, in deep prayer. The past and future - time itself - are forgotten. We are here in the presence of the Ultimate Mystery. Like the air we breathe, this divine presence is all around us and within us, distinct from us, but never separate from us. We may sense this Presence drawing us from within, as if touching our spirit and embracing it, or carrying us beyond ourselves into pure awareness.

We surrender to the attraction of interior silence, tranquility, and peace. We do not try to feel anything, reflect about anything. Without effort, without trying, we sink into this Presence, letting everything else go. Let love alone speak: the simple desire to he one with the Presence, to forget self, and to rest in the Ultimate Mystery.

This Presence is immense, yet so humble; awe-inspiring, yet so gentle; limitless, yet so intimate, tender and personal. I know that I am known. Everything in my life is transparent in this Presence. It knows everything about me - all my weaknesses, brokenness, sinfulness - and still loves me infinitely. This Presence is healing, strengthening, refreshing - just by its Presence. It is nonjudgmental, self-giving, seeking no reward, boundless in compassion. It is like coming home to a place I should never have left, to an awareness that was somehow always there, but which I did not recognize. I cannot force this awareness, or bring it about. A door opens within me, but from the other side. I seem to have tasted before the mysterious sweetness of this enveloping, permeating Presence. It is both emptiness and fullness at once.

We wait patiently; in silence, openness, and quiet attentiveness; motionless within and without. We surrender to the attraction to be still, to he loved, just to be.

How shallow are all the things that upset and discourage me! I resolve to give up the desires that trigger my tormenting emotions. Having tasted true peace, I can let them all go by. Of course, I shall stumble and fall, for I know my weakness. But I will rise at once, for I know my goal. I know where my home is.

Deliberately dismantle excessive group identification.

2011-12-28T20:03:00.000Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Extending the effects of Centering Prayer into daily life.
(Thomas Keating, Open Mind, Open Heart, pp.123-126.)

Centering Prayer is the keystone of a comprehensive commitment to the contemplative dimensions of the Gospel. Two periods a day of twenty to thirty minutes - one in the early morning and one halfway through the day or in the early evening - maintain the reservoir of interior silence at a high level at all times. Those who have more time at their disposal might begin with a brief reading of ten or fifteen minutes from the Gospel. For those who wish to give a full hour in the morning to interior silence, start with ten minutes of Gospel reading and then centre for twenty minutes. Do a slow, meditative walk around the room for five to seven minutes; sit down and do a second period of centring. You still have ten minutes for planning your day, praying for others, or conversing with the Lord.

To find time for a second period later in the day may require special effort. If you have to be available to your family as soon as you walk in the door, you might centre during your lunch hour. Or you might stop on the way home from work and centre in a church or park. If it is impossible to get a second period of prayer in, it is important that you lengthen the first one. There are also a number of other practices that can help maintain your reservoir of interior silence throughout the day and thus extend its effects into ordinary activities.

1. Cultivate a basic acceptance of yourself. Have a genuine compassion for yourself, including all your past history, failings, limitations, and sins. Expect to make many mistakes. But learn from them. To learn from experience is the path to wisdom.

2. Pick a prayer for action. This is a five to nine syllable sentence from scripture that you gradually work into your subconscious by repeating it mentally at times when your mind is relatively free, such as while washing up, doing light chores, walking, driving, waiting, etc. Synchronize it with your heartbeat. Eventually it says itself and thus maintains a link with your reservoir of interior silence throughout the day. If you have a tendency to scrupulosity and feel a compulsion to say the prayer over and over or if frequent repetition brings on a headache or a backache, this practice is not for you.

3. Spend time daily listening to the Word of God in Lectio Divina. Give fifteen minutes or longer every day to the reading of the New Testament or a spiritual book that speaks to your heart.

4. Carry a "Minute Book”. This is a series of short readings, a sentence or two, or at most a paragraph, from your favourite spiritual writers or from your own journal that reminds you of your commitment to Christ and to contemplative prayer. Carry it in your pocket or purse and when you have a stray minute or two, read a few lines.

5. Deliberately dismantle the emotional programming of the false self. Observe the emotions that most upset you and the events that set them off, but without analysing, rationalizing, or justifying your reactions. Name the chief emotion you are feeling and the particular event that triggered it and release the energy that is building up by a strong act of the will such as, "1 give up my desire for (security, esteem, control)! " The effort to dismantle the false self and the daily practice of contemplative prayer are the two engines of your spiritual jet that give you the thrust to get off the ground. The reason that Centering Prayer is not as effective as it could be is that when you emerge from it into the ordinary routines of daily life, your emotional programs start going off again. Upsetting emotions immediately start to drain the reservoir of interior silence that you had established during prayer. On the other hand, if you work at dismantling the energy centres that cause the upsetting emotions, your efforts will extend the good effects of centring into every aspect of daily life.

6. Practice guard of the heart. This is the practice of releasing upsetting emotions into the present moment. This can be done in one of three ways: doing what you are actually doing, turning your attention to some other occupation, or giving the feeling to Christ. The guard of the heart requires the prompt letting go of personal likes or dislikes. When something arises independently of our plans, we spontaneously try to modify it. Our first reaction, however, should be openness to what is actually happening so that if our plans are upset, we are not upset. The fruit of guard of the heart is the habitual willingness to change our plans at a moment's notice. It disposes us to accept painful situations as they arise. Then we can decide what to do with them, modifying, correcting or improving them. In other words, the ordinary events of daily life become our practice. 1 can't emphasize that too much. A monastic structure is not the path to holiness for lay folks. The routine of daily life is. Contemplative prayer is aimed at transforming daily life with its never ending round of ordinary activities.

7. Practice unconditional acceptance of others. This practice is especially powerful in quieting the emotions of the utility appetite: fear, anger, courage, hope, and despair. By accepting other people unconditionally, you discipline the emotions that want to get even with others or to get away from them. You allow people to be who they are with all their idiosyncrasies and with the particular behaviour that is disturbing you. The situation gets more complicated when you feel an obligation to correct someone. If you correct someone when you are upset, you are certain to get nowhere. This arouses the defences of others and gives them a handle for blaming the situation on you. Wait till you have calmed down and then offer correction out of genuine concern for them.
8. Deliberately dismantle excessive group identification. This is the practice of letting go of our cultural conditioning, preconceived ideas, and over identification with the values of our particular group. It also means openness to change in ourselves, openness to spiritual development beyond group loyalties, openness to whatever the future holds.

9. Celebrate the Eucharist regularly. Participate regularly in the mystery of Christ's passion, death, and resurrection, the source of Christian transformation.

10. Join a contemplative prayer group. Set up or join a support group that meets weekly to do Centering Prayer and Lectio Divina together and to encourage one another in the commitment to the contemplative dimensions of the Gospel.

Centering Prayer is of the effortless type

2011-12-28T19:48:00.000Z

Centering Prayer is of the effortless type. That is why it is important to relax, to find the place, the posture, the chair that facilitate this, and gently to close the eyes, for it is estimated that twenty-five percent of our psychic energy is expended in seeing. (p.66-67)

*************

If we have a real relation going with God, then we have a name for him that quite spontaneously comes to mind when we turn our attention to him. And that is, often times, the word that best serves us as our prayer word. It is not infrequent that for a Christian the prayer word is the holy name of Jesus. And it is then, when the prayer word is Jesus, that the two great traditions, springing from the one source, reunite. Centering Prayer and the Jesus Prayer are once again one, as they were long ago in the hearts of the Fathers of the Desert.

The prayer word, then, might well be a name or a vocative word; yet it need not necessarily be. I know a very beautiful sister for whom the prayer word is "let go." That expresses the whole essence of her relation with her Divine Beloved. It is true that such a prayer word is more than one syllable, it is more than one word. And such a sentence might well lead to a certain amount of intellectual or conceptual activity. We have to take care. As the author of The Cloud of Unknowing has said: "If your mind begins to intellectualise over the meaning and connotations of this little word, remind yourself that its value lies in its simplicity." We can be quite free in choosing a prayer word that is meaningful to us.

Here is perhaps something of the difference between Eastern techniques and Christian prayer. "Where the Spirit is, there is freedom”. The typical Eastern technique, seeking to achieve something in itself by the very activity of the one performing it, demands absolute fidelity to the technique until the end is attained. For the Christian, prayer is always a response. God initiates the activity and indeed is the source of our response. We, the prayers, move with the Spirit of God. "We do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit prays within us. . . ." We are human. We are incarnate. We can and do we methods. But we can use them with the greatest of freedom. And the use of a prayer word is a method most suitable for us as Christians. God has spoken to us. We have received the Revelation. We have received the Word. If God speaks his love to us most totally and eloquently in a human Word that is divine, we can most aptly respond in a human word that is divinised by faith and love in the action of the Holy Spirit.

The mantric type of prayer taught by Father John Main, while retaining this essential Christian note, and in this way appealing to the same, Cassian tradition, yet approaches more closely the Eastern techniques. Indeed, in his writings and talks Father freely acknowledges his dependence on the experience he had at the feet of a Hindu master during his service in the East - an experience that was brought to fullness when he became a Benedictine and came into contact with the teaching of St. John Cassian. Thus, instead of having the meditator choose his or her own meaningful prayer word, Father encourages each to use the word ‘Mar-an-ath-a’, a word chosen for its assonance and because for most Christians it does not have strong conceptual connotations. And this word is to be repeated constantly during the time of prayer. Father concludes his remarks in one article:

As to frequency, you must say the mantra for the entire time of your meditation to the rhythm you find for yourself. You will be tempted to rest on your oars. . . . The way to transcend the temptation is absolute fidelity to the mantra. This is the condition of rooting it in your heart.

This approach is quite different from that of Centering Prayer. As the third rule of Centering Prayer states:

Whenever in the course of the Prayer we become aware of anything else we simply gently return to the Presence by the use of the prayer word.

We do not use the prayer word constantly. It sort of hovers in our mind, somewhat like white sound. In an office or library or bank, we sometimes find quiet background music. It is not there for people to stop and listen to it. Rather, it is there to block out or blur other sounds so we can be more free to attend to our errand. And so the prayer word, recalled at the beginning of our meditation, lies quietly in our consciousness, leaving us free simply to attend to the Lord of our love. We do not make any effort to repeat the prayer word. We certainly do not turn it into an affective ejaculation. Nor do we make an effort not to repeat the word. We certainly do not judge the perfection of our prayer either by the frequency or infrequency with which we use the word. We do not make it the aim of our prayer to decrease the frequency with which we use the word. We simply seek to be wholly present in love to God present to us, and whenever something draws us away from that Presence, we very gently employ the word to return fully to the Holy Presence.

We may indeed find that some days we seem to have to use the word constantly. No matter. This should cause us no distress. We just repeat the prayer word as gently as possible. To begin to get distressed, or to try to use the word forcefully to eliminate thoughts will only take us more out of the Prayer. 'The gentle repetition of the word will, on the other hand, place us ever more deeply and to-tally in the Prayer, the movement into God that goes on underneath the thoughts and surface activity. (p.72-74)

*************

In Centering Prayer we sink down into the quiet depths, where there is only a simple, peaceful flow from our Source into the Ocean of Infinite Love. What serenity, what tranquillity, what peace; what vitality, what power, what refreshment! But, on the surface, a lot of activity is still going on. Thoughts are still careening along, feelings are being evoked, sounds are hitting our eardrums. And every once in a while, a flashy vessel or a particularly interesting one arrests our attention and we find ourselves surfacing-or perhaps we have fully surfaced and all but climbed aboard the enticing boat before we are aware of having left the peaceful depths.

It is at this point that we use our prayer word. We do not so much turn from the thought or feeling. We do not think (another thought) of letting it go. We simply - with the gentlest repetition of our prayer word, maybe only the faintest recollection of it - return to the Presence. The author of The Cloud says, "It is best when this word is wholly interior, without a definite thought or actual sound." We simply, peacefully sink again into the depths. It is as gentle and effortless as that: a sinking down into the depths. If we but let ourselves go, we have a natural propensity to rest quietly in our Source. And so, throughout our prayer time, the thoughts, the feelings, the sounds, the images continue. We just let them flow along. Our attention is elsewhere. (p.75-76)

*************

We use the prayer word when we need it and to the extent we need it' and always gently. The thoughts and feelings and images will always be there. But it is only when we become aware of them, when they have drawn our attention away from the depths, from the Beloved, to themselves, that we need to deliberately-but always gently-employ our prayer word to return to the Presence. For the rest, we let the word simply be there. It may repeat itself, faster or slower, stronger or weaker; it may take up the rhythm of our heart or of our breath (though we do not in any way seek to bring this about, or give any attention to either of these), or it may fuzz out and be more of a silent image than an actual sound. No matter! Our attention is to the Presence, known in faith, embraced in love; the word is incidental, a useful means, used when a means is useful.

In prayer we seek God. We do not seek peace, quiet, tranquillity, enlightenment; we do not seek anything for ourselves. We seek to give ourselves, or, rather, we do simply give ourselves, even without attending to ourselves, so whole is our intent upon the one to whom we give: God. He is the all of our prayer. If thoughts and images and feelings careen around in our head and in our heart, little matter. We pay no attention to them. We do not seek to get rid of them any more than we seek to entertain them. As we give ourselves in our loving attention to God, we also give them to him. And let Him do with them what he wants to do with them.

And that is the point of them..... Contemplative prayer does call for a quite different attitude toward thoughts than does active or discursive prayer. Here, in the totality of our gift to God, we simply give him all, even the thoughts and images and feelings that flow through our minds. All are given simply to him to let him do what he wants with them. (p.76-77)

step 11,we can, in a rather complete way, reconstruct the precise method of prayer that the father taught his disciple

2011-12-28T19:40:00.000Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.We tend to think of our own times as being unique in the history of the human family, and in some ways that is certainly true. And yet there is undeniable truth in the words of the Wise Man: ". . . there is nothing new under the sun" (Qo. 1:9).

In recent years, we have seen a significant number of young and not so young Westerners turning to the East. Though the tide seems now to have ebbed, there was for a time a steady flow of pilgrims seeking from gurus, swamis, and roshis some sampling of ancient wisdom. Some actually made the long journey to Benares, Sri Lanka, or Thailand. Others were able to import masters or find them already imported, or in some cases even satisfied themselves with what returning disciples were able to share.

This phenomenon of dropping out of one's own life current, whether it be school or business or religious-community life, and heading toward the East in search of wisdom is not unprecedented. It was very much present in the renewal of the eleventh and twelfth centuries, finding fear-some and dramatic expression in the Crusades but significant peaceful expression in the realms of art, science, and sapiential literature. This was the period when Peter the Venerable translated the Koran, and the writings of many of the Greek Fathers were first made available in Latin, thus directly influencing the evolution of spiritual thinking in Western Europe.

The fourth and fifth centuries also witnessed such a movement. My own patron, Basil - later called "the Great" - and his schoolmate Gregory, the Theologian, threw aside their books, left the prestigious schools of Athens, and went off to find true wisdom among the gerontas (old men) in Syria and Egypt; "old man" is a term of respect used even today among the Greeks to address or speak about a significant spiritual father. St. Jerome might truly be included among these seekers, as well as his friends Paula and Melania, the Elder and the Younger. Among the pilgrims to the East must also be included a brilliant young man from Dalmatia whom the Eastern Christians today call St. John Cassian, the Roman.

John, too, at an early age, laid aside his books and left the lecture halls to go in search of true wisdom. He went first to the Holy Land and lived there for some years in a monastery in Bethlehem (not that of St. Jerome, though he probably met the saint while there). After a time, his insatiable desire pushed him on. With his abbot's permission and the companionship of one of his brother monks, Herman, he set out to learn still more of the spiritual art and the mystical life from the wise old men bidden in the solitudes and caves of Egypt. It was over seven years before he returned to his monastery, only to seek permission to continue his pursuit. He was never again to return to the Holy Land. In time, he was led from the desert to the capital, ordained a priest, and then sent back to the West, where he established two monasteries near Marseilles -one for women and one for men.

Monasticism was beginning to flourish in fifth-century Gaul, and in response to an expressed need, St. John produced two sets or collections of writings. The first, the institutes, recounted the practices of the monks of Egypt and adapted them for use in the colder, Western regions. Because of the extensive use of the institutes by St. Benedict of Nursia and the tradition he drew upon, Cassian's Institutes have had an immense and all-pervading influence on monastic life in the West. In his second collection, St. John included what he considered the most significant teachings he had received in the course of his long pilgrimage. These he presented in the form of Conferences given by various great Fathers of the Desert.

As Cassian himself tells us, one day he and Herman visited the famous Abba Isaac and sought from him a teaching on prayer. The saintly old man obliged, and this teaching has come down to us as the very beautiful and deep "First Conference of Abba Isaac on Prayer." That night, John and his companion fairly floated back to their cell, so uplifted were they by the transcendent teaching of this great Father. But when they awoke in the morning, their feet again solidly planted on Mother Earth, Herman turned to his companion with the important question:

"Yes, but how do you do it?" And the two young monks ran back across the sands to the cell of the elder to pose this question to him. Abba Isaac's "Second Conference" is his response to this question. In it we find the first written expression in the West of that tradition of prayer of which Centering Prayer is a contemporary presentation.

The whole of Abba Isaac's magnificent Conference should certainly be read. But let us here listen to just a few of the words of this wise old man, the ones that most directly relate to our present concern:

I think it will be easy to bring you to the heart of true prayer. . . . The man who knows what questions to ask is on the verge of understanding; the man who is beginning to understand what he does not know is not far from knowledge.

I must give you a formula for contemplation. If you care-fully keep this formula before you, and learn to recollect it at all times, it will help you to mount to contemplation of high truth. Everyone who seeks for continual recollection of God uses this formula for meditation, intent upon driving every other sort of thought from his heart. You cannot keep the formula before you unless you are free from all bodily cares.

The formula was given us by a few of the oldest fathers who remained. They communicated it only to a very few who were athirst for the true way. To maintain an unceasing recollection of God, this formula must be ever before you. The formula is this: "0 God, come to my assistance; 0 Lord, make haste to help me."

Rightly has this verse been selected from the whole Bible to serve this purpose. It suits every mood and temper of human nature, every temptation, every circumstance. It contains an Invocation of God, an humble confession of faith, a reverent watchfulness, a meditation on human frailty1 an act of confidence in God's response, an assurance of his ever-present support~ The man who continually Invokes God as his protector is aware that God is ever at hand.

I repeat: each one of us, whatever his condition in the spiritual life, needs to use this verse.

Perhaps wandering thoughts surge about my soul like boiling water, and I cannot control them, nor can I offer prayer without its being interrupted by silly images. I feel so dry that I am Incapable of spiritual feelings, and many sighs and groans cannot save me from dreariness. I must needs say: "0 God, come to my assistance; 0 Lord, make haste to help me."

The mind should go on grasping this formula until it can cast away the wealth and multiplicity of other thoughts, and restrict itself to the poverty of this single word. And so it will attain with ease that Gospel beatitude which holds first place among the other beatitudes: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Thus by God's light the mind mounts to the manifold knowledge of God, and thereafter feeds on mysteries loftier and more sacred . . . . And thus it attains that purest of pure prayers to which our earlier conference led, so far as the Lord deigns to grant this favour; the prayer which looks for no visual image, uses neither thoughts nor words; the prayer wherein, like a spark leaping up from a fire, the mind is rapt upward, and, destitute of the aid of the senses or of anything visible or material, pours out its prayer to God...

For the better part of ten centuries, the monastic approach to prayer prevailed, beginning with the first attempts at written transmission, by such men as Evagrius Ponticus and John Cassian in the fourth century, until the prevalence of scholastic thinking in the Western Christian community, which in the fourteenth century brought about a divorce between theology and spirituality. For the monk, life was integral. It was all one, and in practice he did not distinguish between reading or study of the Scriptures and prayer, or between meditation and contemplation. There was just one simple movement of response to a God who had spoken, a God who speaks not just in the books of the divinely inspired Scriptures but in the whole of creation and in the depths of one's own being.

At this point let me inject an important aside. It concerns a semantic difficulty. In our recent Western tradition, when we have spoken of "meditation," we have been understood to refer to a discursive type of prayer in which we consciously reflected on some facet of life, particularly some point of the Scriptures, and sought by this means to arouse in ourselves affective responses and resolutions to guide our conduct. At the same time, "contemplation" has signified for us that moment when our response to the revealed truth or reality was simply being present to it - having passed beyond thinking to simple presence.

For our brothers and sisters in the Hindu tradition, the terms have almost the exact inverse meaning: contemplation is a discursive exercise, and meditation usually means a non-conceptual approach. Perhaps one of the most significant indications of the failure of the Western Christian churches to bring their life-giving tradition even to their own is the fact that the terminology that prevails today in the West is not that of the Western tradition (except perhaps among religious and priests, and those mostly of earlier training) but, rather, the terminology brought to us in recent years by the wise men coming from the Asiatic countries. So there is a difficulty today when we speak of these matters. That is one of the reasons why I prefer to use the term "Centering Prayer" rather than "meditation" or "contemplation." "Prayer" emphasizes what is the essential and oftentimes distinctive element: that of an inter-personal response, a relationship flowing out of love, with another Person or Persons. However, I think it might at times be advantageous, when presenting this form of prayer in a popular context, such as a college campus, to speak of it as "Christian meditation"-meditation being understood in the prevailing, Eastern sense.

But let us return to our monastic tradition. In this tradition, when the monks wished to speak in a reflective way of their experience, they employed four words: lectio, rneditatio, oratio, and contemplatio. Lectio, or more commonly the fuller expression Lectio Divina, cannot be adequately expressed in the simple translation of the word as "reading.3' We are in fact speaking of a time when perhaps most of the monks and most of the Christian community could not read. Others, of course, could and did read to their illiterate brothers. The choice source for this lectio always was and always will be the Sacred Texts. Oftentimes, a simple Christian who could not read would manage to memorize extensive portions of Scriptures, especially the Gospels and the Psalter, so that he could constantly hear it, now recited, as it were, by his own memory.

But lectio, in the fuller sense implied here, means the reception of the revelation, by whatever vehicle it may come - the reception of the Word who is the Truth, the Way, and the Life. It may indeed come by way of one's own reading. St. Basil was strongly insistent that all monks learn to read. For us today, our personal time with the Word of Life, with the Sacred Scriptures, is of primary importance. But we also receive this word through the ministry of others, through their reading, and above all, through the Liturgy of the Word. And others will open it out for us in homilies, in instructions, in simple faith - sharing and everyday lived witness. It can also be presented to us, and in fact it has been presented, in art: pictures, frescoes, sculpture, stained glass. The whole Bible can be found in the windows of the cathedral of Chartres. And there were the wonderful mystery plays.

There is also the larger book of revelation: the whole of the work of the Creator, his wonderful creation. All of it speaks of him and of his love for us. Bernard of Clairvaux was fond of saying (to express it in a rather trite translation) that he found God more in the trees and brooks than in the books. Lectio, therefore, is receiving the revelation, by whatever means, to be followed quite naturally by meditatio.

Again, with meditatio - even apart from the semantic difficulty we spoke of above-we have to be careful that our translation be not a betrayal of the truth. In the early monastic tradition, meditation involved primarily a repetition of the word of revelation, or the word of life one received from his spiritual father or from some other source. The word - and here "word" is not to be taken literally as one single word but may be a whole phrase or sentence - was quietly repeated over and over again, even with the lips. Thus the Psalms speak of one meditating with his lips. In time, the repetition would tend to interiorise and simplify the word, as its meaning was assimilated. For during this repetition the mind was not a vacuum. It received the word more and more, entered into it more and more, assimilated it and appropriated it, until it was formed by the word and its whole being was a response to the word.

The Fathers liked to use the image of the cow or other "clean animals who chew the cud." A cow goes out and fills its stomach with grass or other food. Then it settles down quietly and through the process of regurgitation reworks what it has received, moving its lips in the process. Thus it is able to fully assimilate what it has previously consumed and to transform it into rich, creamy milk - a symbol of love filled with the unction of the Holy Spirit. When the received word passes from the lips into the mind and then down into the heart through constant repetition, it produces in the one praying a loving, faith-filled response.

I like very much a distinction made by John Henry Cardinal Newman that I think is very applicable here: What this meditatio does is to change a notional assentinto a real assent. As we receive the words of revelation into our mind, they are just so many notions or ideas, which we accept m faith. We do believe. '3ut as we assimilate them through meditation, our whole being comes to respond to them. We move to a real assent. Our whole being, above all our heart, says: '~Yes, this is so. This is the reality."

Next-again quite naturally - we turn to oratio, to prayer, to response. When God, the loving Creator and Redeemer, so reveals Himself, and we really hear that revelation, that Word of Life, we respond with confident assent, with expressed need, with gratitude, with love. This response is prayer. And it bursts out more and more constantly as the reality of our assent deepens and we more fully perceive the revelation of Creator and creative Love in all that we encounter.

Our response grows. It is constantly nourished by illuminating grace. There are moments and seasons of special light. And it is at these times, which eventually become all times, that the Reality becomes so real to us that a word or a movement of the heart can no longer adequately respond to it. Our whole being must say "yes." This is contemplatio. It is a gift, a gift of the Light who is God. We can only open to it, in our God-given freedom, and express our desire to receive it by fidelity to lectio, meditatio, and oratio - oratio of the most delicate, open, and receptive type. That is what Centering Prayer is. And that is the method that Abba Isaac taught to the two eager young monks, St. John Cassian and his companion, Herman.

The desert tradition out of which this teaching on prayer of John Cassian, The Cloud of Unknowing, and Centering Prayer evolved is the same as that from which the Jesus Prayer issued. However, while Abba Isaac gave St. John a word from the Psalms: "0 God, come to my assistance; 0 Lord, make haste to help me," the Eastern current derived its source from two passages of the New Testament - that of the blind Bartimeus and that of the publican - to form the well-known prayer: 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner." In time, especially under the long domination of the Moslems, the Eastern Christian tradition was enriched or modified by other influences from the East. Thus today the expression "The Jesus Prayer" is a blanket covering a variety of methods. The most highly developed, psychosomatic expression of the Jesus Prayer, presented by Nesophorus of Jerusalem and St. Gregory of Sinai (who actually learned it in Crete and brought it to the Holy Mountain) in the fourteenth century, and by St. Gregory Palamas in the century following, reproduce even to details the dhikr method of the Sufis of the thirteenth century. The Name used by the Sufis, of course, was Allah, while that used by the Orthodox Christians was the Name of Jesus. This dhiikr method in its turn reproduces down to details the nembutsu method of meditation used by Buddhists in the twelfth century. We do not necessarily have to postulate a dependency. It may be that spiritual masters coming out of related cultures evolved similar methods.

Alongside this increasingly complicated method there always continued to be present a very simple and pure practice, especially among the Russians and in the sketes on Mount Athos. We find this most recently with Father Silouan, the humble staretz of the Russian monastery on Mount Athos, who died in 1938, and whose life and works have been made known to the West by his disciple Archimandrite Sophrony. At the end of his long and busy day as dockmaster, the staretz would retire into his office near the abandoned pier, pull his skouphos (monk's hat) down over his eyes and ears, and simply enter into the awesome Presence of God, using the saving Name of Jesus. His practice at this point was the same as that of the Centering Prayer, with the Name of Jesus as his prayer word.

Other spiritual fathers developed other variations in passing on the tradition, coupling the use of the Name with the breathing or the heartbeat, adopting certain postures, and otherwise seeking to bring the mind down into the heart.

In the West, the tradition remained quite pure until it was virtually lost at the time of the Reformation with the suppression of the monasteries and the defensive repressions of the Inquisition. Flowing from the word St. John Cassian received from Abba Isaac, it did not centre on the Name of Jesus but retained a certain suppleness, so that, as the author of The Cloud of Unknowing expressed it, each one practicing the prayer would choose his own prayer word – one that is meaningful to him.

Like the Conferences of Abba Isaac, The Cloud of Unknowing is the word of a spiritual father addressed to a particular disciple. In the case of The Cloud, both the father and the disciple remain unnamed and unknown. We know only that the disciple was still quite young (twenty-four years old) but had nonetheless enjoyed an ongoing relationship with the father. The The Cloud of Unknowing presupposes the oral instruction the father has given. It is undoubtedly for this reason that we do not find precise instructions by the father in the way of prayer, as with Abba Isaac. But repeatedly in the text there is allusion to such precise instruction and repetition of fragments of it. By drawing these scattered texts together we can, in a rather complete way, reconstruct the precise method of prayer that the father taught his disciple:

.Using any word to "conjure up" the divine opens one to self-hypnosis and the possibility of perseverating on the object of meditation

2011-12-28T17:48:00.000Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Using any word to "conjure up" the divine opens one to self-hypnosis and the possibility of perseverating on the object of meditation, not on the contemplation of Our Lord or the meditation of the virtues or events of His Life.) An extreme example of the occult power of visualization and mentalization occurred several years ago. At one New Age workshop given by Robert Munroe where participants were trained to go out of their bodies while they slept, eager students were encouraged to first visualize placing all their distractions and cares into a trunk and then lock the trunk. This way they would be freed from earthly bonds. Unfortunately, a very beautiful woman also attending the workshop, (then located in a closed sleeping room nearby), reported that during repeated nightmarish attempts to go "out-of-body", she found herself being locked in a trunk and unable to get out.

Transforming Suffering

2011-12-28T17:24:00.002Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Transforming Suffering

An Interview with Basil Pennington

By Mary NurrieStearns

Basil Pennington is a Cisterian monk whose worldwide ministry focuses on bringing contemplative practices into the lives of spiritual seekers. He is a spiritual retreat leader, lecturer and author. He is most known for his work in the Centering Prayer movement, which is how I was introduced to his ministry. He resides at St. Joseph's Monastery in Spencer, Massachusetts.

Upon the recommendation of a friend, I read his recent book, Lectio Divina, a description of the meditative practice of praying with the Christian scriptures. I came to understand more deeply how sacred texts can bring us to union with the divine and how contemplating inspired words can ease suffering. Realizing that he had a depth of understanding on suffering, its transformation, and the use of meditative practices in easing suffering, I arranged to interview him by telephone. His spiritual presence and depth of understanding were apparent during the interview and are present in the words that follow.

Personal Transformation: Let's begin with the question: What is suffering?

Basil Pennington: First of all, it is important to distinguish between pain and suffering. As the Buddhists make very clear, suffering comes from wanting something and then not having it or feeling that you can't have it. Pain causes suffering because we think we should not have it. We think we should be free from pain, that we should be filled with pleasure. Suffering is when something is going contrary to what we want. That is why some Buddhist schools say the way to get rid of suffering is to get rid of desire. We Christians believe that we are made for God. St. Augustus says, "Our hearts will not rest until they rest in you, O Lord." There is always going to be desire, but happiness can be found in knowing either we have what we want or we are on the way to getting it. We can want to participate in a certain amount of suffering and pain, and find a deep joy, because we have what we want. For example, when a little child suffers terribly, the mother and father want to be with that child. Even though it will cause them to suffer, they want to be with their child in that suffering

PT: If suffering comes from desire, and there is a difference between pain and suffering, do young children suffer or do they have pain?

Pennington: From a very early age, not to want to have pain is there. Pain is alien to us, so there is probably some suffering, but not the same kind of suffering we have later in life. There is suffering because we instinctively do not want pain. Only somebody more mature can see a value in pain or can transcend pain so that it does not cause them suffering.

Children suffer, but not as much as somebody older who has a reflective consciousness and suffers not only the immediate desire to be away from that pain but also suffers from the frustration of their desires.

PT: Let's go back to the example of the parents wanting to be with the child when the child suffers. The parents want to suffer with their beloved.

Pennington: When you willingly enter into suffering, a lot of the suffering is relieved, even though suffering is very much there, because not wanting the suffering increases the suffering. When Christians speak of suffering we think of the crucified Lord and the tremendous sign of His Love for us. He said, "Greater love does no one have than He lay down his life for his friend." Jesus laid down his life in this graphic and dramatic way as a sign of His love, His concern for us. At one level, He suffered a great deal. Part of him did not want to go through that pain and suffering, and there was suffering because he took on all of our sins and stood before the Father in that sinful state. He suffered, but in the end He said, "Not my will but Thy will be done." Love conquered. The Beloved, His Father, wanted Him to go through this as a sign of love for us, and so He went through it. His love and concern kept overcoming his suffering. He was concerned about his executioners and forgave them, He was concerned about those being executed with him and promised them eternal life, He was concerned about His mother and saw that she was cared for. Even while He, at times, on the cross, prayed, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?," He went on to triumph. In the end He gave a magnificent cry and had such a victory over suffering and death that the centurion said, "This must be the Son of God." Suffering can be very much there, but love constantly overcomes it when one embraces that suffering because she wants the fruit that that suffering can bring about.

PT: Love overcomes the suffering—whose love and the love of what?

Pennington: The persons suffering are less conscious of suffering because their concern is their love; they either want to suffer or are so concerned about something else that they don't notice their suffering. The Buddhist idea is to get rid of all desire so you don't notice the suffering. But love can be so great, going back to the parents who want to be with their child in the suffering, their love is so much with the child, that it would be more suffering for them not to be with the child in the suffering. The question is basically, "What do we want?" If we want to be free from all pain, if we want to be free from anything, and it is there, it begins to cause suffering.

PT: Buddhist precepts say it is our nature to suffer.

Pennington: Christians say suffering is an effect of sin. Because we are all sinners we all have suffering in our lives. Once we are able to completely overcome sin, we will no longer have suffering, or the effects of sin, which is in all our lives, because death itself is an effect of sin.

PT: How is death an effect of sin?

Pennington: The understanding of the Judeo Christian tradition is that God first created humans to live eternally, and because they rebelled against God in some way, part of the punishment was that in time they would die.

PT: For the sake of definition, what is sin?

Pennington: We understand sin as something that is contrary to the will of God, whether His will is expressed in explicit commandments, in the Revelation, or in the way God created things and meant them to function, what we call the Natural Law.

PT: Is there anyone who does not suffer?

Pennington: No, everyone has some suffering. Our Lord took on suffering voluntarily. The rest of us sinners suffer for our sins. We aim toward arriving at a state of complete union and communion with God. The result of that would be we would no longer suffer. In deep meditation we are completely free of suffering but we can't abide in that beautiful state all the time.

PT: What is the best medicine for our suffering?

Pennington: In a way, suffering is a sickness and the best medicine for it is love, although love itself can cause suffering.

PT: Does love transform suffering, is suffering sloughed off?

Pennington: Suffering is caused by desire, so when we change our desires, what was originally suffering can become a sort of joy. When someone you love greatly suffers and you enter into their suffering, their suffering remains, but there is a deep joy in sharing suffering, and that solidarity may ease their suffering. In Christian thinking, we believe that Christ's suffering is redemptive and, to the extent in which we can participate in Christ's suffering, our suffering can become redemptive. In our love for our brothers and sisters we are happy to enter into redemptive suffering.

PT: What are the most prevalent ways that suffering is manifested in our individual lives?

Pennington: Many people equate pain with suffering. Because they are so desirous of being free from all pain, pain immediately causes suffering. In meditation you learn to move to another state of consciousness and you leave pain behind, so you gain a growing freedom from pain. In lovingly going out to others, you forget your own pains and sorrows because you are concerned with theirs. For instance, when you visit a retirement home, you find some people in absolute misery. They are taken up with the aches, pains, and limitations that age has brought upon them. They are miserable and they make everyone who comes near them miserable; nobody wants to be near them. Other people who have as much or more aches and pain are outgoing and loving. They are a joy and people like to be with them. Throughout their lives, they gradually schooled themselves, from meditation perhaps and through outgoing love, to leave their pain and suffering behind. For most people, suffering is experienced through pain or frustrations in love—being lonely, not having the persons they love with them, or not having anybody who is in communion love with them.

PT: I appreciate how you link suffering to desire, especially the desire to be free from pain. I thought suffering came more from a sense of separation from a spiritual self or from God.

Pennington: Separation from God is the essential suffering and we call it hell. Many people don't know that much of the emptiness or longing desire that they suffer from is because they are not in touch with God or whatever name they give Him. Separation is a very real form of suffering in this life. Many, many people suffer because there is nobody in their life. They are not in touch with God, with the inner spirit. They are not in touch with their true selves, and they are not really in touch with anybody else.

PT: When we suffer, whether that suffering comes in the form of physical pain, loss of meaning, or alienation, what can we do?

Pennington: Of ourselves, in a certain sense, we can do nothing. The Lord says, "Without me you can do nothing." But, by the grace of God, and coming directly from Him, or through others who reach out to us, we can begin to open up to reality. The reality is that we are infinitely and tenderly held by the divine. We cease to exist if God does not bring us forth every moment in His creative love. We are united with everybody else in our human nature and in our sharing of a divine nature, so we are never really alone, we have all this union and communion. Getting in touch with that reality is the greatest healing. We can adopt meditative practices which enable us to begin that journey of finding our true inner selves or transcending our separate selves and leave behind some of the pain and suffering. Relief occurs only during the time of meditation until, through meditation and the grace of God, we come to experience the reality beyond our individual selves that then flows over into our lives.

PT: What practices transform suffering?

Pennington: Meditation practices are found in all the major traditions. In our Christian tradition are many forms of meditation. One that is growing in popularity, which goes back to ancient times, is today called "Centering Prayer" and originally called "Prayer in the Heart." It is a simple form of meditation where we turn to God, who is within, and rest with Him. He says, "Come to me you who are heavily burdened, I will refresh you." In this practice we leave everything else and rest with Him within, silently uttering one word of love, such as God, peace, Shalom, to quietly stay with Him. That's a simple and ancient Christian form of meditation which is effective and fairly easy to practice.

The meditation practice of Lectio Divina is somewhat different. It is opening to the experience of God. One of the reasons we leave the words in Latin is because simply translated as "Divine Reading" conveys a false idea. I used to annoy my translators when lecturing in different languages around the world by quoting that old Latin phrase, "Traducta estraditor es," meaning that every translator is a traitor. If you translate a word, you leave so much behind and you pick up other meanings.

Lectio does not mean reading in the sense of printed symbols immediately conveying ideas to the intellect. Lectio is hearing a word—whether you see it on the page, pronounce it yourself, hear somebody else speak it, or recall it from your memory—hearing that word in the here and now being spoken by the one speaking it. In Lectio Divina, God himself is speaking. In the practice of Lectio Divina we read sacred texts which we believe have been inspired by God as a means of communicating with us. Lectio Divina is coming into communication with God and letting Him speak to us now, and reveal Himself to us now, through His inspired word. It is a type of transcendental meditation, at the same time it uses the rational mind to work with the words. In a meditation like Centering Prayer, you leave the rational mind and emotions behind, open yourself to rest in the Divine. St. Thomas Aquinas says, "Where the mind leaves off, the heart goes beyond."

PT: Lectio Divina is the practice of praying the scriptures…

Pennington: I am not comfortable with that expression, because praying is a word that has different meanings to people, but it could be a valid way of saying it if praying is understood the right way.

PT: How do we need to understand prayer?

Pennington: It is being with God in His inspired word, meeting God in His inspired word.

PT: I understand Lectio Divina as allowing the Word to take life in us, to move in us, so that it is a living experience of God in our hearts, not just an intellectual exercise.

Pennington: It is letting God be present to us in His spoken word. You could read my books and know a lot about me and my thoughts but you wouldn't really know me. But if we have lunch together and visit for a while, you still hear my words but now it is a real experience of me and afterward, you know me.

PT: I am quoting from your book, "The simple little practice of each day meeting the Lord in His word and receiving from Him a word of life can indeed transform our lives." How does this practice transform our lives?

Pennington: The actual moment, the time of reception, is transformative in that God is present to us, speaking to us, reforming our minds and our hearts, and bringing us into His understanding. In order to remain as much as possible at that level, and there is only so much we can do, we take some particular word that He has given us at that Lectio session and we carry it with us. We come back to it as much as we can through the day. That word makes Him present with us but also invites us into His way of seeing things.

Maybe a concrete example would be helpful. Sometimes God seems very present, sometimes Lectio really speaks the word to you and you come alive with it. Other days, you listen and listen and it is just words you've heard before, and at the end of Lectio you have to choose a word on your own. One morning I was doing my Lectio and the Lord did not seem to turn up, so I chose the words, "I am the way." I let that word be with me when I was not tending to something else. A few hours later I was walking down the road from the monastery to the guest house, saying, "I am the way," and suddenly I realized, I am just not walking down a road, I am walking "in the way," the way to eternal life. Ever since then, when I walk down a street or a corridor, this comes back to me. I am, the whole of my life, is in the way. That word, at that moment, transformed my consciousness about walking through life. When I got to the guest house, a young fellow was waiting for me. The poor guy had about every problem in the book. I sat there listening to him, and I asked, "Lord, what am I gonna say to this fellow?" The Lord poked me in the ribs and I remembered. I told him about the Lord saying, "I am the way." As I shared that word with this fellow you could almost see the burdens falling off his shoulders. He now had a way to go. The word was a living word for him and it really changed his life. I remember, toward the end of that day, climbing the steps to the church. I was exhausted, and as I climbed up the steps, I said, "Lord, how I am going to get through Vespers? I will sing every note flat." Again, the Lord poked me, and I said, "Oh yes, You are the Way." I went up and sang Vespers and had a great time.

PT: If we look at Lectio Divina as a practice to transform suffering, the word for the day is something to hold onto, a word that guides us when we feel overwhelmed or lost.

Pennington: I am doing an anthology of Aelred and I read a passage this morning where Aelred said, "how sad it is for those who don't know that they can go into the field of scriptures when they seek consolation." He uses the image of Isaiah who, after his mother died, went out to the field in sorrow and in the distance saw his beautiful bride coming. He said, "They can go out into the field of scriptures and lift up their eyes and the Lord will come to them, the beautiful bride will comfort them." In our time of suffering and sorrow we can find consolation and divine love in the scriptures, if we know to go there.

PT: This leads to my next question. I am again quoting your book. You say, "We need to separate ourselves from the enslavement of this world's values. We have to be in the world, we cannot be of the world." How can we be in the world, but not of the world?

Pennington: It is taking the world in two different senses. We live in this world, this creation, but are not of this world, in the sense that we don't accept the materialistic outlook and values. We are invited to see the world the way God sees it, as a wonderful evolving process which has been going on for millions of years. Evolution has reached a high level in us humans who can now, through Grace, be transformed to participate in the divine life. We are destined to pass beyond or transcend the materialistic world to enter into the divine level of being in life and love. The revelation of God through the scriptures reminds us, calls us to, and assures us of the help and the means we need to go beyond this material creation and enter fully into the divine reality.

PT: Talk about the four-stage process of lectio, meditatio, oratio, contemplatio in Lectio Divina.

Pennington: In practice, sometimes we separate these phases, although more naturally this process takes place at the same time and in varying degrees, depending on what's happening in the relationship at the moment. Lectio is primarily opening ourselves to let God speak to us, to be present to us in, through His inspired word. You can do Lectio with Nature too. God speaks to us through everything in Creation—the flowers, the wind, the beautiful child. You can do Lectio in a broad sense through everything, but His inspired word is the vehicle of His communication with us. He says: "I no longer call you servants but friends because I make known to you everything known to me." Lectio is meeting the Lord and letting Him speak to us and invite us into deeper relationship with Him, to realize our call and our destiny.

Meditatio, in the earlier Church tradition, is when we take and carry that word as a way of having the Lord as a presence, walking with us throughout the rest of the day, beginning in the session itself. This particular word speaks to us and we let it drill down into our hearts, into the powerful experience of the presence of God and the transforming call.

Oratio is translated as prayer. Here prayer means the complete response of giving oneself to God, trusting God, who has spoken to us through the Lectio. That word has become alive in Meditatio and our response is prayer, a trusting response to His word.

Contemplatio is when we rest together and nothing more needs to be said or even be thought of. It is being together with God. I learned contemplation when I was four years old, sitting with my grandparents on the porch. They sat there for hours saying nothing. I felt wonderful and I loved to sit with them. I realized later that they were with each other in love and that love embraced their little grandchild. I experienced the Contemplatio of love in that presence of my grandparents. So it's coming just to sit with the Lord in that embrace of refreshing love. You can't love what you don't know, and Lectio is where you get to know that loving.

PT: We are talking about intimacy with God. What is your understanding of God?

Pennington: My understanding flows out of the Catholic expression of the Christian faith, of knowing that Jesus is God incarnate. God became man so that He can bring us into the fullness of the divine life. Jesus is the Son of the Father, and they have in them immense love, they embrace each other in Holy Spirit. I experience God as an immensely loving Father. I am very compassionate and sympathetic with women and others who have a problem with that name of Father, but it has been there for me for over sixty years. Also, I was blessed with a very special father, so it makes it easier for me to use Father. I look to Jesus in the gospel to help me understand this tremendously loving Father. As a monk of the Cisterian tradition, I have been fed by St. Bernard of Clairveau, who spent the last eighteen years of his life commenting on the Song of Songs, the beautiful love song in the Hebrew Bible. Their God is very much the lover, and I have grown to enter into that experience with God as an immense mother, an all-embracing love and creative energy. To enter totally and be completely embraced by divine love has all the richness of the very best experience and understanding we can have of personal love, and yet is so much more. Trying to talk about my concept of God is complex and difficult because it is so rich, and yet in experience it is absolutely simple, it is simply a communion in a totally satisfying love.

PT: I am quoting you, "Herein is the true purpose of our practice, to free ourselves from the empirious domination of our own thoughts, passions and desires, to free the spirit for the things of the Spirit." What are the things of the Spirit? I ask this because I see a relationship to things of the Spirit and the reduction of suffering.

Pennington: The first and most fundamental one is reality. The virtue of humility means acceptance of reality. If we are not in reality, then we can't possibly be in the things of the spirit. The reality is that God is good, all loving and that his creation is good. What immediately follows upon the perception of reality is beauty and goodness, and what follows that is love. We love this immense beauty and we love most of all the author of this goodness and beauty, God himself. These are things of the spirit. It is astounding when we start to reflect that God, the source of all goodness, all truth, all beauty, all life, all love, did, in His enormous love, enter into our struggling evolving human reality and accept our suffering. Suffering is a thing of the spirit, too, for that reason. It has been made a vehicle of love and everything can become something of the spirit when it is informed by love.

PT: We have talked about suffering, particularly as we experience and relate to it in our personal lives. Let's shift to social issues. First, I would like you to talk about suffering in a social context. Then I would like your comments on the war in Kosovo and Yugoslavia. Can we have any impact on suffering in Kosovo and Yugoslavia?

Pennington: We all suffer because of our parents. One element of maturing is realizing that our parents were poor stupid sinners like we are. Even if they did their best, they failed in ways. However, we can never thank them enough because they have given us, with God, the gift of life and being. Along with that comes struggling. If that happens in the individual, it also happens in the social level. The failures of many, or the limitations of many, build up and become our inheritance. Kosovo is an example of that. The suffering in the Balkans, except for the short time that Tito held it in an iron grip, goes back centuries to the time when Islam invaded and conquered parts of the area, leaving this heritage of strife. The willingness to live together and share was never engendered, which is what we have to learn to do everywhere in the world today. They are not the only ones who did that. We did it to the Native Americans, the Scotch Presbyterians did it to the Irish Catholics in North Ireland, and the Jews have done it to the Palestinians in the Holy Land. We can find instances of it all over history.

When you take away people's land, when there is not a willingness to live and work together in some way, inevitably there begins to be a minority group and that minority suffers, like the Native Americans in the United States. At some point that minority revolts or seeks violent means, after decades of non-violent means not getting them anywhere. Sometimes just a few turn to violence, but it involves all the others. Then there is the problem of what the oppressive majority does in the face of that violence. They usually react with even more violence. These days the human community steps in to try to relieve that situation, often making it worse before it makes it better.

It is out of the complex heritage of our poor sinful struggling human family that these situations arise. Sometimes media makes us intensely aware of things going on and sometimes it doesn't. There is less awareness of what is going on in Afghanistan and East Africa. When we hear about violent oppression we are confronted as fellow humans. Those of us who are Christians should be conscious of how Christ suffered and died for every human person. Therefore, these people are precious to Christ and they are precious to us.

PT: Then comes the question, what can I do about it?

Pennington: We believe in the power of prayer. God and Christ have told us that our prayer is effective. "Ask and you shall receive." God, who constantly brings this creation forward in his creative love, is affected by what we ask and seek of Him. Prayer is important because of the deep intersolidarity of the human family and the whole cosmos. Creating deeper peace in ourselves creates a level of peace for the whole human family. By giving up violence in our own attitudes, feelings and spirit, and seeking peace, we can become an instrument of peace. We are just one among billions and that may seem little, but sometimes we have to be content with doing the very little that we can. There is always political action. We have to discern, in each case, the appropriate political action we need to take. Certainly we should try to move our own government toward a less violent attitude. It is extremely difficult, when the situation is occurring, to say what we can immediately do, apart from prayer to try to bring peace. We can do whatever is possible to provide relief for the people suffering. This kind of suffering brings us into strong and painful contact with our limitations.

PT: Is there anything that you want to add about suffering?

Pennington: It is extremely important to have hope. The evolution of human consciousness has gone on for hundreds of thousands of years, and is a powerful movement. Divine Creative Energies, which are pure love, are at the base of this movement. Humanity, in its evolutionary course, has gone through terrible periods, yet has moved on and on. We are at a fairly high level of human consciousness in the rational period we live in. More and more people realize that we have to move to a more integrated level. One of the enormous challenges lying ahead of us is the full equality of men and women and the full integration of the masculine and feminine dimensions of our being. This will make an enormous difference in the way the human family lives and functions. Hopefully, we will be much more peaceful. That integration is a coming together as a human family, a human community. We are most empowered and find the greatest possible security and the fullest happiness in community when we embrace each other as brothers and sisters, as children of the Father.

Each of us needs to live the hope, realizing that we are in this wonderful evolving course. Even if there is suffering and struggle in the course of it, the grain of wheat that falls on the ground comes forth with a hundred grains; it is in process.

Someone to help today

2011-12-28T16:42:00.002Z

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October 4, 2008

Early on in my recovery, a prayer was suggested to me that has proved to be quite effective. Like any good prayer, it is simple and direct.
God, please send me someone to help today.
When I first said this prayer, I was six months sober and had just finished making my amends.
I lived in a small town at the time, and so I walked to work that morning. About halfway to the office, I heard a little jingling sound in the distance. I looked up the street and saw a very happy dog trotting my way. He was dragging his leash behind him.
I normally didn’t get along all that well with dogs—we just weren’t interested in the same things. But this dog ran right up to me and sat down at my feet.
If you had been passing by, you would have thought me the owner of a surprisingly obedient pup.
Time passed in silence between us. I stared down at the dog. It stared right back up at me, panting and pacified. He seemed like a very friendly little guy to me.
Then a new sound in the distance. I looked up the street again to see a man running breathlessly around the corner in our direction.
It took me a minute to put two and two together. This did not seem like the kind of dog that would just up and run away, but the circumstantial evidence was stacked against him. I reached down and held onto his collar, which he let me do without a fuss.
The man came up to us, gasping for air. He thanked me as best he could, took the leash, and ran back off again with his dog.
Five minutes earlier, I’d asked God to send me someone to help.
I guess he’d decided to make my first time easy.
When I think back on that day, I see a miracle not so much in the fact that a dog and his owner were suddenly introduced into my morning, but in that I was actually paying attention. And I actually cared. Three months prior, I’d have just as soon kicked the dog as looked him in the eye, and I wouldn’t have had any time to wait around for some jerk who couldn’t hang on to the leash.
It’s amazing that my prayer was answered. It’s more amazing that I was able to say that prayer and mean it. God really worked me over in my first nine steps, and that morning provided my first piece of evidence that this program really worked.
Jimmy K., a founding member of Narcotics Anonymous, used to say a similar prayer: God, please send me someone who really wants this program, even just for a few hours.
And my great grand-sponsor used to have one like this: God, please let your love flow through me and into the lives of others.
Praying to be useful to others is solid 12th step stuff. In my experience, God always answers these prayers in the affirmative. If you ask God to send you someone to help, you’ll get what you pray for. You might not always like what you get—God might send you the exact person that you least wanted to help—but your prayer will be answered in full.
These days I’ve been blessed with an abundance of people to help. My wife is pregnant, expecting a girl in December. My son is five. I teach, so I’ve got students to assist. And I generally have a few sponsees. I no longer need God to redirect lost dogs my way in order to have someone to help. So I use that prayer less often.
These days, I pray for willingness and understanding.

Resentments. Selfishness.

2011-12-28T16:39:00.002Z

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September 28, 2008

In my experience with this thing, I’ve come to think of resentment as the “texture” of selfishness. Every object has a texture. Texture is what the object feels like. Smooth is what a slab of polished marble feels like. Soft is what flannel sheets feel like. Resentment is what selfishness feels like.
When I am selfish, I feel resentment.
This gives resentment some value, because all texture has value. If we could not feel that the knife was sharp, we would cut ourselves. If we could not feel that the fire was hot, we would burn. And if we didn’t have resentments, we might not ever know that we were selfish; our spiritual illness would progress unchecked.
A resentment is an opportunity. If we respond appropriately, the resentment will forward our spiritual growth; it will take us into a deeper level of relationship with God.
Of course, alcoholics are famous for responding inappropriately to things that cause them harm. The doctor tells us we’ll die if we drink, and we take that news to the bar. Quite appropriately, Bill calls this a “complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove.”
Our response to resentment is just as misguided as our response to booze. We get selfish, so we feel resentment. Then we blame someone else for the way we feel. In our blame, we act badly. We’re short-tempered, we’re rude, and we pick fights. Then our brains race at night, chewing over every aggravating detail of the day.
Underneath all our blame and bad behavior, our unacknowledged selfishness quietly scrapes against our better natures, irritating our conscience, and so we lie awake.
We burn our hands instead of taking them off the stove.
But we needn’t.
When we write Big Book inventory, we find out that behind each and every single one of our resentments lies our own selfishness as the root cause.
When we write Big Book inventory over a sustained period of time, we get to see that selfishness is always the cause of all our resentments.
As we work our 10th step diligently over the years, God graces us with a healthy suspicion of our anger. We get pissed off, and we think, “Maybe I feel like this because I’m being a jerk. Maybe it’s not this other guy’s fault at all.”
When this suspicion becomes habitual, we’re a little less prone to act badly when we’re mad. And we get mad less often.
Another thing we notice by a consistent application of the 10th step is the fact that we don’t get resentments unless something we want—something we’re selfishly attached to—is threatened.
We can pursue the next drink for a long time without consequences. Then one day someone we love tells us we should quit. Suddenly, our selfishness becomes palpable. We feel it for the first time, and it doesn’t feel good. Instead of recognizing this feeling as an opportunity to surrender, we become enraged.
We can also pursue wealth, sex, friendships, esteem, pride, power, or pleasure of any kind without ever knowing our true motives. It takes conflict before we can be made aware that we are spiritually sick and wrong-minded. Life has to intervene.
So this feeling we normally call “resentment” is really something of a wake up call, a sudden awareness of our own selfishness. We can suppress this awareness and become angry, or we can allow it to do it’s work, and be made holy.
These wake up calls are sharp, painful, humiliating. They always happen at exactly the wrong time, when they stand to embarrass us the most. Or, rather, they always happen on God’s time, right when they will do the most good. In these moments God’s hand reaches out through the circumstances of our lives and touches us in the very place where we need to surrender most; our selfishness recoils, and we are made aware.
We cannot control this process, for it is the process of life itself. And life seems perfectly designed to eliminate our selfishness. Like rocks in a stream, we are worn smooth by a series of soft collisions. We can’t control it, but with the help of a little inventory, we can stop fighting the current

Lost inventories

2011-12-28T16:38:00.002Z

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September 20, 2008

Twice I’ve had sponsees who lost their inventory before they took their 5th steps.
The first time it happened, my guy—let’s call him Fred—was in the Salvation Army. If you’ve never been inside a Salvation Army Adult Rehabilitation Center (ARC), then you probably don’t know how important rules are to their treatment philosophy.
Rules, work, and Jesus—that’s how you get sober at the ARC. And in that order, too.
Accordingly, they’ve got rules that govern every aspect of your waking life. If, for example, you were caught with two cups of milk at lunch instead of one, you would be subject to discipline. Such a contrast with the Big Book’s “suggestions only” approach.
Anyway, Fred was a meth addict entrusted to the Army’s care in lieu of a prison term. He wrote good inventory, filling a notebook with resentments, fears, and sexual misconduct (the latter is usually a big deal for methies).
I was rather exited about the prospect of getting this guy through his steps. He still had a few teeth left, you know. He might be put to good use helping others.
When we first started meeting, all Fred wanted to do was bitch about the rules. But as he progressed in his inventory, he laid off the bitching and started sharing a bit about himself. To my mind, that was good, solid progress. Most addicts can’t survive long in a culture of rules. Those that make it do so by breaking rules and/or bitching about them.
To be in the ARC and get over your resentments—even your resentment of the rules—is real spiritual progress. An addict humbly following the rules is…well…it just doesn’t happen that often, and I was starting to get the idea that maybe these Army guys were on to something. Having strict rules—thousands of them—forced the issue. Either you got over yourself or you got kicked out. There was no third option.
I showed up one Saturday, as planned, ready to hear Fred’s inventory.
He got in my car with a sour look on his face and told me he didn’t have his notebook.
Thinking he was trying to back out of his 5th step, I told him he’d better go and get it.
“Can’t,” he said. And then he told me what happened.
Fred had his inventory inside his Army-issued binder. Like all things in the ARC, binders were governed by a code of rules, strictly enforced. Most importantly, you could leave them in the main room only during the day and had to take them to your room at night.
Fred had forgotten his binder in the main room one night. His binder and the inventory it contained were subsequently confiscated.
I appealed to the proper authorities and had them search the storage rooms. I had Fred wade through the dumpsters out back. His inventory was no where to be found.
They had taken his stuff and had sent it through the shredder.
I wanted to burn the place down.
But, after a bit of prayer, I figured we’d better move along as best we could. Fred was graduating in two weeks. He didn’t have time to write his inventory again, at least not before he was turned out.
Not knowing how to do a 5th step without any inventory to read, I had Fred go back and write about the “big ones.” I asked him to try to remember his ten most significant resentments and fill out the columns on them.
He did so, halfheartedly. Then he read it to me, graduated, and was high for two weeks before he got pulled over and was hauled back to prison.
God bless them and their mission, but I don’t hang out with the Salvation Army anymore.
More recently, I was sponsoring a guy we’ll call Dave, who took his inventory to court. When he was called by the judge, he left his notebook in his seat, thinking he’d be back for it. The judge had the bailiff take Dave in, and he was held for a few hours. By the time he was released, Dave’s inventory was gone.
Dave was also in a rehab and was about to move from its “primary” phase to “job search.” There was pressure on him to take his 5th step ASAP because people who didn’t read inventory before they went looking for a work often found a bag of dope instead of a job.
So I prayed about it and had this idea that maybe we could take a page from the Oxford Group. I had Dave write up a classic Four Absolutes inventory and read that to me for his 5th. The idea was that he’d work to fill in the rest of the inventory later, as part of an ongoing 10th step.
Dave did okay for a while. He did a bunch of difficult amends without even blinking. He made amends to four stores and three family members in one day. Fearless.
But after that, he just petered out. Stopped writing inventory. Stopped saying his prayers. Got pissed off about small stuff and pretended he wasn’t mad. Didn’t call me so much as he used to.
He’s officially off the radar for two weeks now. Hopefully, he just moved on to another sponsor. One who’s making him write some good inventory.

America’s most contemplative, but very active (often unheard of and almost anonymous) saints. They are known mainly by their first names—Bill and Bob

2011-12-20T14:57:00.000Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.new edition of AA or Alcoholic Anonymous’s “bible” of recovery stories, known as the Big Book.

This edition of the book by AA’s Founders was the first draft before its many published editions, with hand written edits in the margins from two of America’s most contemplative, but very active (often unheard of and almost anonymous) saints. They are known mainly by their first names—Bill and Bob—and certainly not thought of with folks like Ignatius of Loyola. The edits reveal their deep spirituality, originally writing that seeking a higher power would need to be “on your knees”, something that got taken that out in what we might term today a “seeker” strategy to not let religion get in the way of serving a beginner’s journey to physical and spiritual health.
You see, I owe a debt to Hazelden and the writers of the Big Book. My son’s life was changed by 30 days there. He shamelessly and humbly sings its praises – and lives “out loud” about being an alum, as are many whose lives have been given back to them by that place and AA’s practices. He is once again the same person I knew before his addictions took him away, but now he also has a deep interior life. His has developed the habit of serving others, and is soaring to reach his potential as never before in working with Junior High Youth.

contemplation of Him who presides over us .

2011-12-20T14:52:00.002Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.

... contemplation of Him who presides over us ... 12&12 p.192, Tradition Twelve (Long)

This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.

... contemplation of Him who presides over us ... BB p.566(568), Appendix I, The A.A. Tradition

This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.

Our faith is not ‘neat’

2011-12-20T14:47:00.002Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Our faith is not ‘neat’. It does not accommodate itself to human categories of thought. It cannot be explained or contained by philosophical arguments. But neither can love. Love cannot be explained or contained in mathematical equations. It must be experienced. It must be given and received. It is a mystery beyond comprehension, and yet, anyone who has ever experienced it knows that it is real—perhaps the most real of all experiences. And in the end, the deepest and truest expression of God is that of Love. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son…”

The mystery of Christmas in search for higher power

2011-12-20T14:45:00.001Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.The mystery of Christmas is that Infinite and everlasting Love entered into the world, into our smallness, into our weakness, into our foolishness that we might one day be made great and strong and wise in Him—that we too might Love fully and without limit, even if we will never be able to find words to adequately explain it.

Say your truth—kindly, but fully and completely. Live your truth, gently, but totally and consistently. Change your truth easily and quickly when your experience brings you new clarity.

2011-12-16T03:29:00.002Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Say your truth—kindly, but fully and completely. Live your truth, gently, but totally and consistently. Change your truth easily and quickly when your experience brings you new clarity.

DO YOU WANT A "vital spiritual experience"

2011-12-12T12:43:00.000Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.Our focus is the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous; we use no other text. Theemphasis is on the first 103 pages of the Big Book, which have not been altered since they were originally published in 1939. The process of one cocaine addict guiding another through the Big Book takes between 24 to 30 hours, usually done in one to two hour sessions, typically over a period of two to three weeks. In the process, we write helpful and clarifying comments and notes in the margins of our Big Books, circle important words and highlight certain passages for emphasis. We are called Muckers or Bookers, because we muck up the Big Book! During this period of "being booked", the suffering addict puts into action the 12 steps of the program. We substitute terms and phrases related to drink and alcohol to cocaine and other mind-alterning substances to better reflect our experience.

The purpose of this brief, intense process is to jump-start the program for the suffering cocaine addict. The goal is to facilitate the "vital spiritual experience" as described throughout the Big Book, and to give the cocaine addict the tools to subsequently maintain and grow that experience. Once the suffering cocaine addict has had this experience, we find that the cocaine addiction, that is, the mental obsession to use cocaine is removed. Subsequently, much of the maintenance and growth of the spiritual experience is achieved by working Step 12. This means working directly with other cocaine addicts. Once recovered, the addict is encourage to pass the process on to another suffering cocaine addict -- to give it away to insure immunity against using. While other forms of service are not discouraged, such as setting up chairs, making coffee, etc., this is considered a courtesy and not Twelve Step work as outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Download a 'Mucked' Big Book in Word Document Format

http://recoverysolutions.blogspot.com

2011-12-11T15:42:00.001Z

DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.http://recoverysolutions.blogspot.com
Read more at Stepping Stones

living by eight spiritual values: positive attitude, friendship, simplicity and ordinariness, humor, forgiveness, gratitude, mindfulness and spiritual freedom.

2011-12-11T00:04:00.001Z

living by eight spiritual values: positive attitude, friendship, simplicity and ordinariness, humor, forgiveness, gratitude, mindfulness and spiritual freedom.

"People say to me, 'Why do you smile so much?' I say I need it," she said in her talk about positive attitudes. "We must esteem ourselves before we can esteem others."

She also discussed the need to develop a loving eye with which to view the world.

While discussing friendship, she said "Learning to be a powerful presence in another's life is just so, so beautiful."

And she said people make themselves rich by making their wants fewer.

"May I live simply that others simply can live," Mongeon said, quoting Gandhi.

To achieve the value of humor, Mongeon suggested learning from children.

"Children laugh 60 times a day, but we laugh six at best," she said. "They say six good laughs a day are as good as a five-mile run."

Mongeon defined forgiveness as the capacity to go beyond our hurts and put them in the hands of God.

"I cannot forgive unless I employ God," she said.

And seeing the good God has placed in one's life can be done through a gratitude journal, she said, noting her belief that gratitude is the greatest antidote to depression.

"A grateful heart is never sad," she said. "The expression of gratitude is the most powerful act we can perform to God, ourselves and others. ... It changes the negative back to the positive and takes away the hurts."

Mongeon said savoring the moment creates mindfulness.

The expression of gratitude is the most powerful act we can perform to God, ourselves and others. ... It changes the negative back to the positive and takes away the hurts."

2011-12-10T23:55:00.003Z

"So often in our lives, we limit the capacity of our HIGHER POWER."

Sister Stephanie Mongeon made this statement last week during a talk designed to help people remove those limits.

Mongeon is director of community relations and mission services at Ogden Regional Medical Center and one of the Catholic sisters at Mount Benedict Monastery. Her talk, "Finding Balance and Spirituality in Our Lives," is one she gives quarterly to the members of the Twelve Step Program at Ogden Regional Medical Center.

Mongeon recommended living by eight spiritual values: positive attitude, friendship, simplicity and ordinariness, humor, forgiveness, gratitude, mindfulness and spiritual freedom.

"People say to me, 'Why do you smile so much?' I say I need it," she said in her talk about positive attitudes. "We must esteem ourselves before we can esteem others."

She also discussed the need to develop a loving eye with which to view the world.

While discussing friendship, she said "Learning to be a powerful presence in another's life is just so, so beautiful."

And she said people make themselves rich by making their wants fewer.

"May I live simply that others simply can live," Mongeon said, quoting Gandhi.

To achieve the value of humor, Mongeon suggested learning from children.

"Children laugh 60 times a day, but we laugh six at best," she said. "They say six good laughs a day are as good as a five-mile run."

Mongeon defined forgiveness as the capacity to go beyond our hurts and put them in the hands of God.

"I cannot forgive unless I employ God," she said.

And seeing the good God has placed in one's life can be done through a gratitude journal, she said, noting her belief that gratitude is the greatest antidote to depression.

"A grateful heart is never sad," she said. "The expression of gratitude is the most powerful act we can perform to God, ourselves and others. ... It changes the negative back to the positive and takes away the hurts."

Mongeon said savoring the moment creates mindfulness.

"We're so busy that we don't allow ourselves to be in the present," she said, noting that being present for others is a great gift to them.

"Being there for the other person without a better story is being a good listener," stated a slide she showed during her talk.

And she said silence and meditation also are important for developing a relationship with God or a higher power.

"We have to ask ourselves, 'Are we human beings or are we human doings?"

She noted that the creation was not completed until God declared a day of rest.

"The Lord said, 'Learn from me and you will find rest,'" she said.

Mongeon said living by spiritual principles will provide new energy and new hope.

She said what the world needs more than ever is people of hope.

"You and I are the ones who can provide hope."

DREAMWARRIOR IN RECOVERY

2011-12-07T15:17:00.001Z

The sea is merging with the sky and clouds obscuring the high mountains of the Morrocan coast.Gazing down the valley the bright sunlight flashes off the surface of the lake below me.The cry of a disgruntled chicken drifts up the valley from below me, making me aware of the gentle twitter of tiny birds that populate the trees around me.Silvered cobwebs drift and glisten in the warm lunchtime breeze.The breath of the light breeze flutters the table clothes in slow union.The sun lightly caresses my hands for this is early December in Andalusia.
I bask in the gentle sunlight of the spirit.
Slowly recognizing that the crushing pain in my head and shoulders has abated.The sharp ache of Arthritis has become a dull glow.The insistent jangle of the Mobil phone has been left behind and the joy and appreciation of this beautiful world fills my day.DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.

Life is not impossible........Life is improving

2011-12-07T15:14:00.001Z

Life is not impossible........Life is improving.Each day,each hour thanks to the new found acceptability to a personal,loving higher power.Your will not have an insane,controlling self-will running your life.The exercise of unburdening myself of self will in my meditation makes me realize I no longer have to face life alone.Today life is having close,intimate friendships,the worldwide fellowship contact,and a life with instant contact to the divine.I have no fear.Fear leaves me.In close companionship with a power beyond my comprehension.I work towards solutions.Methodically ,slowly making decisions based on meditation,guidance.Health, physical and mental shows remarkable improvements.My infirmities and blocks to God slowly fade away.I acknowledge these positive results are threw my new relationship with the divine.I make decisions based on meditation and guidance.Health and welfare are strengthened.Everything is just as it should be in the world.By practising acceptance instead of control daily miracles take place.I ask for direction and purpose in my life.For a personal relationship with my inner divine consciousness that some call intuition.
Solutions present themselves if I practice these principals in all areas of my life.My blessed intuitition divine self gains a new found voice and delights in the sunshine of the spirit.I search out the definition of Gods will putting the acid tests into action.Is it HONEST,Does it have INTEGRITY am I happy to tell everyone of my decision.Is it UNSELFISH.Is it LOVING.If the answer is yes within a short time I inherit the earth and all that is within it.Gods personal promise to all his children.DISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.

something quiet, calm and hidden is happening and certain people are being called by a higher light.

2011-11-30T15:25:00.001Z

On the surface of the Earth exactly now there is war and violence and everything looks horrible. But, simultaneously, something quiet, calm and hidden is happening and certain people are being called by a higher light. A quiet revolution is settling from the inside out. From bottom to top. It is a global operation. A spiritual conspiracy. There are cells from this operation in every nation on the planet. You will not watch us on TV. Or read about us in newspapers. Or hear our words on radios. We do not seek glory. We do not use uniforms. We arrive in several different shapes and sizes. We have costumes and different colors. Most work anonymously. Silently we work out of the scene. In every culture in the world. In large and small cities, in the mountains and valleys. In the farms, villages, tribes and remote islands. We might cross paths on the streets. And not realize ... We follow in disguise. We are behind the scenes. And we do not care about who wins the gold of the result, and Yes, that the work gets performed. And once in a while we will cross paths on the streets. We exchange looks of recognition and continue following our path. During the day many are disguised in their normal jobs. But at night behind the scenes, the real work begins. Some call us army of consciousness. Slowly we are building a new world. With the power of our hearts and minds. We follow with joy and passion. Our orders reach us from the Central Spiritual Intelligence. We're throwing soft bombs of love without anyone noticing; poems, Hugs, songs, photos, movies, fond words, meditations and prayers, dances, social activism, websites, blogs, acts of kindness ... We express ourselves in a unique and personal way. With our talents and gifts. Being the change we want to see in the world. This is the force that moves our hearts. We know that this is the only way to accomplish the transformation. We know that with the silence and humbleness we have the power of all oceans together. Our work is slow and meticulous. As in the formation of mountains. Love will be the religion of the 21 century. Without educational prerequisites. Without ordering an exceptional knowledge for your understanding. Because it is born of the intelligence of the heart. Hidden for eternity in the evolutionary pulse of every human being. Be the change you want to see happen in the world. Nobody else can make this work for you. We're recruiting. Perhaps you will join us. Or maybe you have already joined. All are welcome. The door is open.

Confessions of a Big Book Sponsor

2011-11-26T07:52:00.002Z

Posted At : April 24, 2010 2:21 PM | Posted By : Admin
Related Categories: Big Book Sponsorship

I remember asking someone in the fellowship a few years ago, "Are you working your program?" He replied, "Yes I went to a meeting today." I responded, "No, that's not what I'm talking about. Are you working with someone?" He said, "Yes, I have a sponsor." I replied, "No, that's not what I'm talking about. Are you working with a newcomer?" He said, "I'm just a few months sober. I'm only a newcomer. This is selfish program, I need to work on myself first." I never saw him again.
Who Am I?
I am a Big Book Sponsor. I practice the 12 Step Program as outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the original recipe for recovery as practiced by the original 100 who recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
By working the Twelve Step program as described in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have had a spiritual awakening. The obsession to drink and use has been removed. My progressive alcoholic/addiction illness has been arrested. My disease has been placed into remission. I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. As a result, I am able to remain, almost effortlessly, abstinent from alcohol and all mind-altering substances. I have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol and drugs. My sanity has been returned. I am not fighting temptation, nor am I avoiding people, places and things on a trigger list. I feel as though I had been placed in a position of neutrality safe and protected. I have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for me. I am neither cocky nor am I afraid. This is how I react so long as I keep in fit spiritual condition. Furthermore, by living in the disciplines of Steps 10, 11 and 12 everyday, I have a daily program of action that really works in rough going. I have way of living without alcohol or drugs.
You can recognize me at 12 Step meetings because I am the one who brings my own Big Book. To show other alcoholics/addicts precisely how I recovered is the main purpose of this book. I carry a common solution--a way out on which we can absolutely agree and upon which we can join together as brothers and sisters in harmonious action. My deportment shouts that I am a person with a real answer. I carry no attitude of Holier Than Thou. I do not talk down to the alcoholic/addict from any moral or spiritual hilltop. I ask for no payment. I have no axes to grind nor people to please. You can expect to endure no lectures from me. My only desire is to be helpful. I offer friendship and fellowship.
What I do
You will find me at 12 Step meetings armed with the facts about myself. As an ex-problem drinker/user, you will see me making an approach to the newcomer--looking for someone who needs and wants hear about our common solution--someone with an honest desire to stop drinking or using--someone who wants what I have and is willing to follow the instructions as outlined in the Big Book--someone who wants to be joyous and free of active alcoholism and or addiction.
When I find someone who really wants to stop drinking or using, we go to a coffee shop and, together we read and study the first 164 pages of the Big Book. When we come to a Step instruction, we take the Step together as instructed in the Big Book. I practice co-sponsorship--two addicts, working one-on-one, seeking a Higher Power. Because lack of power is our dilemma, we meet three to four times a week, working quickly, all 12 Steps in 30 days or less. My purpose for sponsorship is to teach others how to teach others how to work the 12 Step program as outlined in the Big Book of A.A. Therefore, once the new person has learned and worked all 12 Steps and is living in the disciplines of Steps 10 and 11 on a daily basis, I help my sponsee find a qualified addict who wants to stop and get them working together on their 12 Step journey. Thus, I conclude my formal sponsorship with my sponsee, knowing that they have a dependence, not on me, but upon their Higher Power. Moreover, I rest easy, knowing that the fellowship has one more teacher amongst its members, freeing me to commence looking for another willing, honest and open-minded addict to instruct and repeat the process.
Working with other alcoholics/addicts
I have carried the message of the Big Book to many alcoholics and addicts and rarely have I seen a person fail who thoroughly follows our path.
Untreated alcoholic/addicts are unlovely people. My struggles with them are strenuous, comic and tragic. Those who could not or would not see our way of life are often consumed by their temptations which leads them to the gates of insanity or death. Helping other addicts is the foundation stone of my recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough for me. I have shared time, energy and money. My business and personal life has been interrupted by the telephone ringing at any time of the day or night. My spouse sometimes feels neglected. I have made innumerable trips to police courts, detox centers, hospitals, jails and asylums. I have counseled frantic spouses and relatives. Occasionally I have to meet such conditions.
I have worked hard with many alcoholics/addicts on the idea that only an addict can help another addict. I have had many failures. I once asked another Big Book Sponsor about their success rates and she replied, "I am 100% successful". Astounded, I asked how is that possible? She replied, "I'm still sober". That to me is one of the best kept secrets in our fellowship today. I often hear that this is a "selfish program", but whenever I put my sobriety first I could never stay sober. When I started showing the newcomer how to stay sober, I have found no trouble staying sober. As Doctor Bob once remarked, "strenuous work one alcoholic with another was vital to permanent recovery".
Love and tolerance of others is my code
In the 12 Step rooms I have been accused of being a Step Nazi, Big Book Thumper, a Holy Roller, a Zealot, and most recently I was called a "Steptard". I have been thrown out of groups and asked not to come back. I have been asked not to bring my Big Book into some A.A. meetings. I have been physically and verbally threatened by members of the fellowship for teaching that our 12 Step Program can be learned in an afternoon. I have been blamed for killing people with the Big Book.
When confronted with such animosity, my program tells me I have to look at my part. Have I been crusading, righteous, or critical? Have I been engaging in frothy debates or windy arguments? Have I been demonstrating an attitude of intolerance? Yes, there have been times when I have been all these things, but I claim spiritual progress not perfection and I am no saint.
I confess that I am a Big Book fundamentalist. I work my Big Book like a recipe for recovery. When I follow the 12 Step instructions as outlined in the book, it awakens my mind and I make conscious contact with my Higher Power. I must remember that when I focus my mind on what is wrong with the fellowship and the meetings today, the more I become restless, irritable and discontented. I must remember that the meetings are filled with many suffering and untreated addicts. Therefore, I practice acceptance and focus on what is good about the meetings and the fellowship. I try to see what I can positively add to the meeting--my only desire is to be helpful. Sometimes I have charged the "meeting makers" of killing people with their, "Don't drink and go to meetings" mantra. In return, they, the "Meeting Makers Make It" sect, have accused me of killing people with my Big Book thumping attitude. What I have learned is this: it is not the "Meeting Makers" that are killing people nor is it the "Big Book thumpers", it's the 20 to 30 years of abusive drinking and using that kills the alcoholic/addict. I must remember that I have no monopoly on recovery, but I do know that the Big Book solution works.
Why do I continue to work with other alcoholic/addicts?
Having had a spiritual experience, I try to practice the 12 Step principles in all my affairs. First, I take care of family, for sobriety is not enough and I am a long way from making good to my spouse, parents and children whom for years I have so shockingly treated. Second, I take care of my business, for there can be no family if I am not self-supporting. And third, in my spare time, I carry this message to other alcoholic addicts. For me, this approach, in this order, is a balanced program.
Over the years I have witnessed a fellowship grow up about me. I have watched the spirit grow in the eyes of a suffering individual and seen them recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. I have seen them make a 180 degree turn in life, only to help some other suffering addict do the same. This is the experience I would not miss. I know you will not want to miss it either. Frequent contact with newcomers and other Big Book sponsors is a bright spot in my day.
My life has taken on a new meaning and I seem to be of benefit to others. I have found a new freedom and happiness. I know serenity and peace. I continue to lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in the people in my life. My attitude and outlook on life has changed. Fear and economic insecurity is down and I know how to intuitively handle situations which use to baffle me. I realize that my Higher Power does for me what I could not do for myself alone.
A Vision For You
Thus I grow spiritually and so can you with a Big Book in your hand. It contains all you will need to begin working with the addict who still suffers. I know what you are thinking, "I'm a newcomer myself and I do not have enough sobriety time to be of use to anyone. What could I possibly offer another newcomer? Maybe I should wait a year or two." Rubbish! By working the Big Book solution, you will tap a source of power greater than yourself. To duplicate, with such backing, what I have accomplished is only a matter of willingness, patience and labour. Remember your reliance is always upon your Higher Power. It will show you how to create the fellowship you crave. Ask in morning mediation what you can do for the addict who still suffers. The answers will come if you work your program. But if you are shaky you had better work with another alcoholic/addict instead. Remember you have recovered and have been given the power to help others. You will soon find out that when all other measures fail, work with another alcoholic/addict will save the day. Give freely of what you have been shown and join us on the Broad Highway of the Fellowship of the Spirit. You will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
Trust God, Clean House, Help Others.
Cameron F.
Toronto, ONDISCLAIMER:Text may be subject to copyright.This blog does not claim copyright to any such text. Copyright remains with the original copyright holder.

Take 5 seconds just to be quiet.

2011-11-16T13:37:00.001Z

Take 5 seconds just to be quiet. Everything that disappeared in those 5 seconds for you, that’s what’s not real. So when you are not thinking, everything that disappears… that’s what’s not real. For most people, that’s about 99% of their whole experience of life… their whole world.

Take 5 seconds just to be quiet.

2011-11-16T13:32:00.001Z

Everything that disappeared in those 5 seconds for you, that’s what’s not real. So when you are not thinking, everything that disappears… that’s what’s not real. For most people, that’s about 99% of their whole experience of life… their whole world.

If Life has no interest in the past, why should you?

2011-11-16T13:28:00.001Z

If Life has no interest in the past, why should you? –Michael Jeffreys

It doesn't matter what it is--an atom, a thought, a sound, a situation, a body, a mental state, a plant a storm, a mountain, or a galaxy--everything that we know of is changing

2011-11-16T13:27:00.001Z

It doesn't matter what it is--an atom, a thought, a sound, a situation, a body, a mental state, a plant a storm, a mountain, or a galaxy--everything that we know of is changing, either quickly or slowly. Inward and outward, big or small, there is only this shift and flux. If this is fully acknowledged, it may be realized that this is all that actually exists. No object or "thing" is ever truly formed anywhere. Nothing is ever established or defined. No thing ever comes to stay, to exist, to "be."

What we think, we become

2011-11-16T13:24:00.001Z

“What we think, we become.” There would have been a time when I would have really resonated with this quote and no doubt have even said it! However, when the wisdom of clarity begins to shine thru, you suddenly find that you see “the world” quite a bit differently. So today, my response would be: "Well, yes and no!" It all comes down to what you know yourself to be at your essence. If you think you are your mind, then yes, your thoughts are constantly creating your “reality” because thoughts are all the mind has to work with. However, the problem with this is that like everything else in life, your thoughts are constantly changing (as you may have noticed!). And so, this explains the nagging feeling of instability you feel (even unconsciously) when you think you are your thoughts. One moment a thought can say, “I like this,” and at a later moment it can "change its mind" and say, “I don’t like this.” This being the case, it begs the question: which thought are you? The answer is neither! Your true nature is like a mirror… it will reflect whatever you put in front of it (believe), yet it itself, the mirror, NEVER changes. And just as no reflection can ever harm a mirror, so too it is impossible for anything that happens in the “world” to harm your essential, timeless, formless nature.

DREAMWARRIOR teaches how to become fundamentally present and how to arise in mastery of your mind and ego

2011-11-16T13:21:00.001Z

DREAMWARRIOR teaches how to become fundamentally present and how to arise in mastery of your mind and ego, so that you are no longer involuntarily pulled out of Presence. teaches that the fully awakened state of consciousness is available now. It is not something that occurs in the future. It is already here, waiting to be revealed. As you awaken into the present moment, your thoughts will stop, your mind will fall silent, and you will awaken to an inner silence and peace that is beyond understanding. You will begin to encounter what the mystics and Masters have been speaking of for centuries.

The world we see merely reflects our own internal frame of reference

2011-11-16T13:14:00.001Z

The world we see merely reflects our own internal frame of reference--the dominant ideas, wishes and emotions in our minds. We look inside first, decide the kind of world we want to see and then project that world outside, making it the truth as we see it. We make it true by our interpretations of what it is we are seeing. -A Course in Miracles

As Bill Sees It-Selfish? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

2011-11-16T13:12:00.001Z

" I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, 'A.A. is a selfish program.' The word 'selfish' ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits. "What do these speakers mean? Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation--however we may define this--he will have little or nothing. For us of A.A., there is even more urgency. "If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first--a right and necessary kind of self-concern."

AA First and the “Selfish” Program « Don't Drink and Don't Die

2011-11-16T13:05:00.001Z

AA First and the “Selfish” Program I shudder, shudder, shudder when I hear someone say AA is a selfish program. Back to the dictionary and the meaning of words. Selfish, the way it’s commonly used, means taking care of oneself only and without regard for others or to the detriment of others. The word selfish is used many times in the Big Book to mean just that, and it is presented as a bad thing. Not a good thing. It’s in As Bill Sees It and certainly elsewhere that Bill W said AA is a selfish program. He said that it’s selfish in the same way that a person cannot enlighten someone else while the person himself is not enlightened. You can’t make someone believe in something you don’t believe in (or rarely). You can’t give away what you haven’t got. If an alcoholic is not sober, she is a danger and detriment to herself and everyone else. This alcoholic must first set about achieving sobriety. When a new person comes into the rooms and is told what a commitment AA needs to be in the beginning, sometimes the person protests. People feel they cannot neglect or leave their children or parents or jobs or what have you in order to go to meetings or to rehab. The point is, this person may actually lose all those things and much more if she doesn’t attain sobriety. In that way, sobriety has to come first. Rarely, but unfortunately sometimes, I hear a newcomer say that his family or friends are actually against his attendance in AA. There are lots of reasons for that. The family or friends may not want to stop drinking, may be dependent on that person and fear a change, or may have a bad opinion of AA. In those cases, the newcomer has to defy the people who don’t want him in AA and attend, and hopefully most of them will come around to realize that is best. Usually, though, I hear the “selfish” program phrase thrown around when someone is considering giving less than is appropriate to some other area of life. We are not encouraged to neglect our families, careers, or other responsibilities in order to devote time to AA or our other spiritual quests. It is plainly written again and again that we are to rejoin society and serve and contribute, not crawl away into an AA insulated cave where we selfishly look after our own needs and fulfillment. It’s a pet peeve and a prejudice of mine that I see lots of “therapy” and pop psychology as being too introspective and selfish to do good for anyone besides the therapist or book author. And I’m NOT commenting on all therapy and all books. I know that people have real needs and realize real benefits every day. Still, for many of us, I do believe that the AA program well worked gives us a good balance of introspection and encouragement to take care of our own – our own being this place and all the people here with us at this time.

A Selfish Program?

2011-11-16T13:02:00.001Z

"A Selfish Program?" I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, "A.A. is a selfish program." The word 'selfish' ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits. What do these speakers mean? Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation-however we may define this-he will have little or nothing. For us of A.A., there is even more urgency. If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first-a right and necessary kind of self-concern. From As Bill Sees It

the Internet has many of us on a very short leash – an addictive one.

2011-11-06T08:00:00.001Z

Whether you’re mid-bite, mid-sentence or perhaps mid-sleep, do you react to that ‘bing’ from your smartphone? Or, is it the flashing red light that gets you?

You’ve programmed your phone to alert you to messages, or has it programmed you to respond?

From the constant smartphone companion to the laptop replacing the lapdog, the Internet has many of us on a very short leash – an addictive one.

The consumer research firm Intersperience surveyed more than 1,000 people in Britain and found quitting the Internet is as hard for some as quitting drinking or smoking.

Without the Internet, 40% said they felt lonely. Ironically, it’s fathomable that 40% of those living with Internet addicts probably feel lonely too.

Laurie Tamblyn, an addictions counsellor in special programs at Toronto’s Bellwood Health Services, says there are many types of Internet addiction, including gambling, gaming, pornography and social networking.

“We’re just beginning to treat this. It is a big problem and it is going to become bigger before people start recognizing that they need to do something about it,” Tamblyn says.

“Some of us believe there is a tsunami coming because we haven’t fully recognized the problem yet.”

Part of that problem is the generation gap. Children today are children of technology – dependent on the social web and its tools.

Addiction is a progressive illness that ends up in isolation, Tamblyn says, so Internet use can be a slippery slope, and can have devastating effects on relationships.

“The amount of time people spend lost in their behaviours is comparable to a drinker spending time at the bar instead of with his family or friends,” Tamblyn says.

“The addiction becomes the focus of the addict’s life. The focus is to interact with the addiction before anything else. If this doesn’t happen, it results in mood swings and irritability.”

Internet addiction can be difficult to diagnose, says Dr. Greg Dubord, who teaches in the psychiatry department at the University of Toronto.

“Drawing the line between normal Internet use and Internet addiction is often difficult, because no set criteria for diagnosing the disorder have been established by the American Psychiatric Association.”

What is easy to recognize, however, is the impact of web overuse on our relationships.

Though social networking allows us to communicate with people all over the world, at times it seems to segregate us more than ever. Real-life interaction is often interrupted by bings and beeps. Thoughts become tweets and e-mails. Our fingers do the walking and the talking now.

From neglecting friends and family members to creating severe relationship problems, the Internet and our attachment to it can consume our lives.

One study documents 396 negative effects of the web on social involvement, including significant family problems, Dubord says.

“Reports have shown that excessive use of the Internet resulted in personal and family problems, with 53% of test-takers reporting severe relationship problems,” he says.

“Personal and family concerns extended to marriages, dating relationships, parent-child relationships, and close friendships.”

Dubord notes one case where a New York woman divorced her husband due to Internet overuse, and an extreme case involving a Korean couple so addicted to virtual games they let their three-month-old daughter starve to death.

If you think you may have a problem, Tamblyn says the best thing to do is ask for help.

“You can get an assessment at any treatment centre, or do it online and it’s anonymous. There are a lot of people struggling, and there’s a lot of help.”

Too e-dependent? Greg Dubord points out some general warning signs:

1. Lose track of time online.

2. Failed attempts at moderating Internet behaviour.

3. Neglecting work, sleep, friends and/or family to spend time online.

4. Turning to the Internet in times of stress or sadness to feel better.

How to cut down, according to Laurie Tamblyn:

1. Give yourself short breaks throughout the day when you can’t check your messages. Try going for a walk without your smartphone.

2. Put your iPad to bed. Set a bedtime for your Internet devices.

3. Wi-Fi-free meals. Wash your hands of wireless devices before eating.

4. Put your computer in a high-traffic area to stay accountable to those around you.

Vision is, I think, the ability to make good estimates,

2011-11-02T14:51:00.001Z

Vision is, I think, the ability to make good estimates, both for the immediate and for the more distant future. Some might feel this sort of striving to be heresy against "One day at a time". But that valuable principle really refers to our mental and emotional lives and means chiefly that we are not foolishly to repine over the past nor wishfully to daydream about the future. As individuals and as a fellowship, we shall surely suffer if we cast the whole job of planning for tomorrow onto a fatuous idea of providence. God's real providence has endowed us human beings with a considerable capability for foresight, and He evidently expects us to use it. Of course, we shall often miscalculate the future in whole or in part, but that is better than to refuse to think at all.

Step Three opens the door.

2011-11-02T14:41:00.001Z

Then it is explained that other Steps of the A.A. program can be practiced with success only when Step Three is given a determined and persistent trial. This statement may surprise newcomers who have experienced nothing but constant deflation and a growing conviction that human will is of no value whatever. They have become persuaded, and rightly so, that many problems besides alcohol will not yield to a headlong assault powered by the individual alone. But now it appears that there are certain things which only the individual can do. All by himself, and in the light of his own circumstances, he needs to develop the quality of willingness. When he acquires willingness, he is the only one who can make the decision to exert himself. Trying to do this is an act of his own will. All of the Twelve Steps require sustained and personal exertion to conform to their principles and so, we trust, to God's will. It is when we try to make our will conform with God's that we begin to use it rightly. To all of us, this was a most wonderful revelation. Our whole trouble had been the misuse of willpower. We had tried to bombard our problems with it instead of attempting to bring it into agreement with God's intention for us. To make this increasingly possible is the purpose of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, and Step Three opens the door.

spiritual principles would solve all my problems.

2011-11-02T14:37:00.001Z

Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be. Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could.

The Ninth Step Promises

2011-11-02T14:31:00.001Z

The Ninth Step Promises Copyright © Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. The choice is ours... Do we want more of what brought us to AA ... We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people—was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important ... ? 3rd ed. Big Book pg. 52 ... or do we want what practicing the principles of AA promises? If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them. 3rd ed. Big Book pg. 83 & 84

Reason, Season, And A Lifetime

2011-11-02T14:28:00.001Z

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you will know exactly what to do.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go..

Some people become friends and stay awhile...

leaving beautiful footprints on our hearts...

and we are never quite the same because we have made a good friend!!!

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person or people involved; and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships, and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

When you read this, just recite the following prayer.
That's all you have to do. There is nothing else attached.
This is the power of prayer at work.

May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities
that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received,
and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing that you are a child of God.
Let His presence settle into your bones,
and allow your soul the freedom to sing,
dance, and to bask in the sun.
It is there for each and every one of you.

Send this to the people in your life
and witness...

The Awesome Power of Prayer

PRAYER OF ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI

2011-11-02T14:25:00.001Z

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace, that where there is hatred, I may bring love; that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness; that where there is discord, I may bring harmony; that where there is error, I may bring truth; that where there is doubt, I may bring faith; that where there is despair, I may bring hope; that where there are shadows, I may bring light; that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted; to understand, than to be understood; to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.

MORNING PRAYER

2011-11-02T14:23:00.001Z

God direct my thinking today so that it be divorced of self pity, dishonesty, self-will, self-seeking and fear. God inspire my thinking, decisions and intuitions. Help me to relax and take it easy. Free me from doubt and indecision. Guide me through this day and show me my next step. God give me what I need to take care of any problems. I ask all these things that I may be of maximum service to you and my fellow man in the name of the Steps I pray. AMEN (p. 86 BB)

NIGHT PRAYER

2011-11-02T14:21:00.001Z

God forgive me where I have been resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid today. Help me to not keep anything to myself but to discuss it all openly with another person - show me where I owe an apology and help me make it. Help me to be kind and loving to all people. Use me in the mainstream of life God. Remove worry, remorse or morbid (sick) reflections that I may be of usefulness to others. AMEN (p. 86 BB)

SUGGESTIONS ABOUT PRAYER AND MEDITATION FROM BB:

2011-11-02T14:20:00.001Z

(1) Make no requests in prayer for yourself only.

(2) Never prayer for your own selfish ends.

(3) Select and memorize a few set prayers that emphasize the principles of the Steps.

(4) Ask a priest, minister or rabbi about helpful books and prayers that emphasize the principles of the Steps.

(5) Be quick to see where religious people are right.

(6) Make use of what religious people have to offer.

(p. 87 BB)

PRAYERS OF THE STEPS

2011-11-02T14:18:00.001Z

1ST STEP

God, Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind, Spirit of Nature or Spirit of the Universe my name is ______, And I'm a real alcoholic ... and I need your help today.
(pg.. 10-2, 46, & Chp. 3 BB)

2nd STEP

God, I'm standing at the turning point right now. Give me your protection and care as I abandon myself to you and give up my old ways and my old ideas just for today.
AMEN
(p. 59 BB)

3rd STEP

4th STEP

5th STEP

6th STEP

7th STEP

8th STEP

9th STEP

10th STEP

11th STEP

"As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day 'Thy will be done.' "
(p. 87-8 BB)

God, I'm agitated and doubtful right now. Help me to stop and remember that I've made a decision to let You be my God. Give me the right thoughts and actions. God save me from fear, anger, worry, self-pity or foolish decisions that Your will not mine be done. AMEN
(see above)

(Prayer of St Francis of Assisi) —"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace - that where there is hatred, I may bring love - that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness - that where there is discord, I may bring harmony - that where there is error, I may bring truth - that where there is doubt, I may bring faith - that where there is despair, I may bring hope - that where there are shadows, I may bring light - that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted - to understand, than to be understood - to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen."
(p. 99 12&12)

SERENITY PRAYER (long version)

2011-11-02T14:17:00.001Z

God, grant me the Serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change Courage to change the
things I can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next.
Amen

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change

2011-11-02T14:12:00.001Z

The unselfishness of these men as we have come to know them, the entire absence of profit motive, and their community spirit, is indeed inspiring to one who has labored long and wearily in this alcoholic field. — The Big Book, 3rd Edition, The Doctor's Opinion, page XXV. "Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles." "Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us!" — The Big Book, 3rd Edition, Chapter 5, page 62. "We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change." — The Promises, in The Big Book, 3rd Edition, Chapter 6, page 84. "On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives." — The Big Book, 3rd Edition, Chapter 6, page 86. "To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action." — The Big Book, 3rd Edition, Chapter 7, page 93.

Birth of BigBook

2011-11-02T14:10:00.001Z

Losing a copyright is like losing your virginity. Once you lose it, it's gone, and you can't get it back

Threats by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Attempt Cutting Off a Member's Right To Communicate with the Fellowship.

2011-11-02T14:07:00.001Z

Even though AA's GSO in Germany lost part of the case relating to translations other than German, they continue to harass and threaten not only the AA member there and the group he belongs to (AA Big Book Study Group - BBSG), AAeV (the German GSO) and AAWS have successfully threatened outside enterprises in their attempt to bankrupt and destroy this AA member.

The Big Book Study Group in Germany had a web site located on the German subsidiary of America On-Line (AOL); they also had their e-mail address there as well. In a letter dated August 12, 1999, from the German GSO's lawyer (Frieder Roth) to AOL Bertlsmann Online, Ltd. & Co. (German AOL) he stated the following:

"We represent Anonymous Alcoholics Interest Society, Inc., Munich (AAeV). Additionally we are empowered by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. (AAWS) in New York." This means that this lawyer is acting on behalf of, and with full permission of, both the German GSO and AAWS in New York. The letter continues:

"Our clients (AAeV and AAWS) are owners of exclusive rights in the literary work ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, and its author is Bill Wilson."

Is the Copyright Valid?

The Big Book was copyrighted on April 10, 1939 by Bill and registered with the US Copyright Office in Washington, DC. April 19, 1939. The validity of this copyright is currently in question and until now has never been challenged in a court of law. This may change.

When the pre-publication manuscript (or so-called Multilith) was published in February 1939 it contained the following statement on the bottom of the Foreword page:

""This multilith volume will be sent upon receipt of $3.50, and the printed book will be mailed, at no additional cost, as soon as the book is published."

This statement shows that the Multilith was sold to the general public without any statement of copyright or copyright intent. It also had no statement that the Multilith was a loan copy. According to a prominent copyright attorney who was consulted in this matter, this means that there was no legal copyright in effect and that the book was in the public domain since February 1939. His legal opinion follows:

A Legal Opinion

"In response to your question regarding publication of a work in the United States under the 1909 Copyright Act without notice, please be advised that this would inject the work into the public domain. Affixation of the notice to publicly distribute copies was a condition to copyright protection under the 1909 Copyright Act and also under the 1976 Copyright Act prior to March 1, 1989 when amendments became effective to conform to the Berne Convention. As a general rule, copyright protection was forfeited if the notice was not affixed."

Even if there was a valid and legal copyright on the AA book, AAWS allowed the 1st Edition copyright to lapse in 1967 and the copyright on the 2nd Edition lapsed in 1983. Thus placing both editions in the public domain forever.

AAWS has always stated that their primary interest was in the preservation of the integrity of the text. Despite the fact that the translations and English version published by BBSG for free distribution worldwide held to the original text and there was no loss of integrity, AAWS continues to litigate against BBSG.

Property Rights

It has been proven that the current litigation is not about the integrity of the text, but about the financial interests of AAWS. Frieder Roth's letter to AOL continues:

"For our clients, that book is of enormous importance for business (note: economic value). Considerable parts of financial resources, which are at the command of ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS for the good of alcoholic addicts, come from sales revenues."

AAWS is threatened by the free worldwide distribution of the Big Book to those alcoholics who cannot afford to purchase them (including those in European countries where their GSO's charge upwards of almost $50 - US for each copy). Again, it is not about the integrity of the text - it is about money and property.

According to the book, TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS (12&12), "Then our Trustees wrote a bright page of A.A. History. They declared for the principle that A.A. must always stay poor." (Page 165)

Read the Manual

Despite its declaration of poverty, AAWS maintains an $11 million dollar reserve and has probably over a million dollars in legal fees fighting to maintain money and property. AA's Service Manual and Concepts for World Service is perfectly clear in relation to litigation issues. It states in the Twelfth Concept, Warranty Five the following:

"To the minds of some AA's, 'guardianship' of the AA Traditions implies the right and the duty on the part of the Conference to publicly punish or sue every willful violator. But we could not adopt worse policy; indeed such aggressive public acts would place the Conference in the position of having violated one AA Tradition in order to defend another. Therefore aggressive or punitive action, even in this area, must be omitted."

AAWS states that Bill Wilson was the sole author of the Big Book. How could this be possible when even Bill stated in AA Comes of Age that he was more of an umpire than an author? It is widely accepted that Hank P. was the author of the chapter, TO EMPLOYERS, and that the early fellowship edited and changed the text both in New York and Akron. It was more of a group effort than of any individual member - including Bill.

Printing Company Threatened

In order to gain a legal copyright in Mexico, AAWS had to submit documentation proving authorship of the Big Book. Mexican law states that in order to have a valid copyright of a work, there must be a living author. To circumvent this legality, AAWS' documents show that Wayne Parks (then General Manager of AAWS) was reported to be the sole author of the Big Book. How could this be when they had already falsely stated that Bill was the sole author? How could there be two sole authors even though Wayne was not a part of AA in 1939?

Getting back to Frieder Roth's letter to AOL comes the worst part of this tragedy. In it he states:

"The requests of my clients because of copyright infringement are also directed against your company (AOL) as a provider of net services. You must be seen as an interfering disturber, and therefore you are subject to claims of my clients�026you are assured that our clients will immediately take legal action�026" if AOL fails to remove all of BBSG's web sites and e-mail accounts.

AOL capitulated to the legal threat by AAWS and on Wednesday, August 18, 1999, they dropped the BBSG accounts and they are no longer available on the Internet through AOL. A similar letter by Frieder Roth was sent to the printing company who printed the translations of the Big Book by BBSG. They too capitulated and ceased printing the books scheduled for free distribution. Thus for now, AAWS has succeeded in silencing BBSG and removing them from carrying the message of recovery as does any other AA Group - unless of course they choose to purchase high priced AA literature (at a much higher price than is charged in the US).

Primary Target

If the litigation now in appeal is lost, they won't even be able to purchase AA literature even at the higher price. One of the stipulations is that they cannot purchase any AA or recovery literature, sell any AA or recovery literature or give away any AA or recovery related literature. This will effectively stop this AA group from carrying the message of recovery and therefore, cease to exist.

AAWS' primary target is to stop the free distribution of literature to those who cannot afford it. Frieder Roth's letter states that:

"Everybody can download the text of the work to his computer. Besides this, people interested in the printed book are offered the possibility to order it and get it via post office mail free of charge."

AAWS did not - YET - go after any of the other sites on the Internet who offers downloadable versions of the Big Book. They only, for now, attempt to destroy this one site. Eventually, for purposes of money, property and prestige, they will go after all Internet sites related to recovery that threaten their financial and business entity. The availability of reading the Big Book on-line is in jeopardy even as you read this.

Profit Motive

They have stopped AOL from hosting web sites, they have stopped a printer from printing free books financed by 7th Tradition member contributions and they will continue until they have control of everything AA members read and/or see on the Internet and elsewhere. If these are not the actions of a dictatorial government rather than a spiritual entity I don't know what is!

AAWS has proven by their actions that they are not attempting to save the integrity of the basic text. They have proven that they are all about money and property. They have proven that they are against carrying the message of recovery to the still sick and suffering alcoholic unless they can make money off of it.

I, for one, do not wish to make money off of AA or the sick and suffering alcoholic. I also feel just as strongly that AAWS should not be about making money off of the still sick and suffering alcoholic. AA should be self-supporting through member contributions and NOT literature sales. AA should be a spiritual entity, founded upon spiritual principles and not a business continued upon a profit motive. A profit motive at the expense of the fellowship of AA in its attempt to carry the message of recovery based upon the basic text.

Give it Away

Even Ruth Hock, AA's first secretary stated in PASS IT ON (Bill's biography published by AAWS) that the book was always intended to be given away free of charge after the initial expenses were paid off.

BBSG was just fulfilling that intent and has been stopped (for now) by a business intent on profit and control. Others will take up the printing and distribution of free literature to those who seek recovery. When they are forced into bankruptcy by AAWS, others will take their place.

There are those in AA who still believe that profit should never be a motive in AA recovery despite the fact that AAWS is only interested in profit and that the integrity of the text is not in question in this case. Our way of life should be available to ALL who seek it, not only those who can afford to buy books.

The Big Book is Published

2011-11-02T14:04:00.001Z

The Big Book is Published

The official publication date of the Big Book according to the United States Copyright Office was April 10, 1939. There were 4,730 books printed with red cloth binding, wide columns, thick paper, a red, yellow, black and white dust jacket. There was the program of recovery outlined and the personal testimonies of those who had recovered.

Other than a slight trickle, the expected orders didn't materialize. Once again, they were dejected.

Several dozen books which had been pre-paid were shipped out. AA members got their copies and some were given away. The boxes of books still being held at the Cornwall Press probably were piled high to the ceiling. Letters were sent out, a small ad was placed and Bill, Ruth and Hank waited for the orders to pile in.

Every day the went to the Post Office box expecting to be flooded with requests for the book. Other than a slight trickle, the expected orders didn't materialize. Once again, they were dejected. They needed a boost.

In September 1939, Liberty Magazine ran an article entitled "Alcoholics and God" by Morris Markey. It briefly told about Alcoholics Anonymous. This was the first national publicity AA received.

Missing Pieces of History

There was another article reportedly printed in a religious magazine called FAITH. The article was written by Dr. Bob who had supposedly used his full name as the author of that article.

...during a relapse, out of anger, he threw out the plates and they were lost forever.

This writer has attempted to track down a copy of the article for several years. The AA Archives in New York City claims they do not have a copy and even the Library of Congress no longer have copies of that magazine. It appears that the Library of Congress "dumped" their microfiche files for the only two magazines called FAITH from that era in the 1970's.

Another heartbreaking "dumping" occurred several years ago. A long-term AA member living locally in this writer's vicinity stated that he once had the original printing plates for the Big Book from the Cornwall Press. The Cornwall Press once was located near this writer's home. This long-term member stated that during a relapse, out of anger, he threw out the plates and they were lost forever.

The Rockefeller Dinner

Bill W. once again went to Willard Richardson for financial help. Willard helped put together the original Rockefeller meeting. Bill explained that the meetings were growing but there was no income coming in from book sales. He had over 4,000 copies in storage which wouldn't be released until paid for.

Willard convinced John D. Rockefeller, Jr. to help out. Rockefeller arranged for a dinner for all his friends to hear about this wonderful new movement. One Hundred and Eighty Seven engraved invitations were sent out to some of the richest and most powerful men in the United States.

Mr. John D. Rockefeller, Jr.
requests the pleasure of your company
at dinner
on Thursday, the eighth of February
at seven o'clock
THE UNION CLUB
Park Avenue and 69th Street
Mr. William G. Wilson, author of "Alcoholics Anonymous"
and Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick
will speak on an effective control of alcoholism

Of the 187 Invitations that were sent, 127 were sent back with regrets. Among those who responded in the affirmative were included several of the invited AA members. Among the 60 people who actually attended this dinner there was Bill, Dr. Bob, Clarence S., Fitz M., Bert T., and Bill R. on the AA side. Others included members of Rockefeller's staff, Frank Amos, Gordon Auchincloss, Dr. Russell E. Blaisdell, Horace Crystal, A. Leroy Chipman, Leonard V. Harrison, Dr. Foster Kennedy, Dr. William Duncan Silkworth, Dr. Leonard V. Strong, Jr. and Wendell L. Wilkie. Many of these men went on to be great friends of AA.

John D. Rockefeller, Jr. could not attend the dinner due to illness so his son, Nelson Rockefeller took over. There were several speakers including Bill W. who spoke about the movement. The final speaker was the Reverend Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick who ended his talk with the following remarks:

"Last of all, I admire the quietness, the anonymity which this movement is carried on. Very small overhead financially, no big organization, nobody making anything out of it, no high salaried staff, people for the love of it sharing with others the experience that has meant life to them - that is good work. No one is a prophet, but I suspect that there is a long road ahead of this movement."

One long-term member who was at this dinner once remarked to this writer that looking back on those remarks AA is now a far cry from back then. He stated that there now was a very large overhead with high rentals and expensive, well appointed offices, a large multi-million dollar organization, millions in royalty payments and a high salaried staff. The long-term member longed for the simpler days when the primary purpose was to carry the message and remain as a spiritual entity rather than a publishing empire and big business.

Unfortunately, there wasn't a need for a second printing of the Big Book until March 1941.

Mr. Rockefeller ordered copies of the Big Book for all those who were invited and gave an additional $1,000 to the movement. Rockefeller still held on to the belief that a lot of money would spoil the movement. He sent out letters extolling the virtues of AA to those he sent books to and through that "hint," an additional $2,000 was donated.

Bill once again felt that AA was on its way. He felt that more books would be sold and that the movement would take off like a rocket. Unfortunately, there wasn't a need for a second printing of the Big Book until March 1941, just over a year after the Rockefeller Dinner.

The reason for this need for a second printing of almost 5,000 more copies was due to a momentous event in AA history.

Chicago area had the most heroin-related hospital visits in the nation.

2011-10-31T09:07:00.001Z

2010 study by Roosevelt University researchers found the Chicago area had the most heroin-related hospital visits in the nation. The drug is cheap, and it's attracting users everywhere including some who are very young. Today's heroin can be snorted or smoked -- not just injected -- and that's led to a change in the typical user. Increasingly, today's addict is young, female and from the suburbs. And the roots of their addiction can be found in their family's medicine cabinet. For many, the road to dependence begins at independence --one of a handful of West Side exits off the Eisenhower serve as the gateway to the nation's busiest heroin corridor. "The ride there you're just anxiety, just, 'Oh I can't wait to get there. I can't wait to get it. I can't wait to feel better,'" said a 19-year-old female heroin addict whose scar are more than skin deep. She grew up far from the west side's rough and tumble streets, amidst the manicured lawns of the far west suburbs which seems an unlikely breeding ground for a new crop of heroin users. "I always thought of them as homeless and not caring about what they look like and real skinny and everything," the 19-year-old addict said. Heroin has never been cheaper and more pure. Just $100 can buy a two day supply. "I knew. The first time I did it I was like, 'This is bad. I like this way too much. And this is going to be bad," said the 19-year-old addict, whose identity ABC7 has hidden. DEA Agent Jack Riley says powerful Mexican drug cartels have partnered with Chicago street gangs to make heroin easily available. "If I had to liken anything to a weapon of mass destruction, it would be heroin," Riley said. After smuggling the drugs here, Riley says the cartels often operate in Spanish-speaking areas near Midway Airport. "They can assimilate into these hard working neighborhoods. They can appear to be great citizens, take care of their lawn, put Christmas lights up," Riley said. The cartels need the gangs to distribute the drugs but officials say fights between the two groups are increasingly to blame for the near-daily violence plaguing some neighborhoods. "What we consider to be senseless violent acts, many of them may be actually connected to the cartel's operations in Chicago," Riley said. It seems the danger is of little deterrent to users. "Within two weeks I was getting sick physically without it, and I needed it," the 19-year-old addict said. It wasn't until an overdose nearly killed her that she began treatment a few weeks ago at New Hope Recovery Center in Geneva. In four years, the facility has seen a seven-fold increase in heroin cases and many involve teens first hooked on prescription painkillers. "They'll run out, and someone will say 'Well, snort some heroin. It'll help you, so you won't go through withdrawals,'" said Jake Epperly, New Hope Recovery Center. That may have been how Billy Roberts began using. The Homer Glen 19-year-old died of an overdose two years ago and his father now warns of heroin's dangers. "I do it for him," said the victim's father John Roberts. "And I'll continue doing it as long as I'm alive. To give my son's life meaning. A former Chicago cop, Roberts says it's time for new solutions. "We need help. The police cannot do this alone. We need a comprehensive, strategic approach to this problem if we're ever going to see these numbers turn downward," Roberts said. To put in perspective how big the problem is here, the Chicago DEA has secured funding for a 90-person strike force to combat the operation run by the cartels and gangs in the city. Officials say it's the only such strike force outside of the U.S.-Mexico border. The 19-year-old woman interviewed by ABC7, who is currently in treatment, says she knows at least 20 other kids her age, from her community, who are current or former users.

Roxies sell on the street for as much as $30 per pill and offer a high that tops crack, heroin or meth

2011-10-31T06:50:00.001Z

Michael Patrick/news sentinel The two most wanted prescription pills on the streets of East Tennessee. The small pills are Roxie 30 and the large green pill is an Oxycontin 80. The second-generation Oxys, made by Purdue Pharma, are now wrapped in a sticky gelcap coating that will burn nostrils and resists needles.

PHOTO BY SOURCE: U.S. DRUG ENFORCEMENT ADMINISTRATION, NATIONAL INSTITUTE ON DRUG ABUSE

Effects of oxycodone: The high caused by oxycodone and other opiates affects nearly every major organ in the human body. So does withdrawal. This chart illustrates some of those effects.

Oxy's out. Roxies rule.A tiny blue pill, no bigger than a baby aspirin, overshadows nearly every other illegal drug on the market in East Tennessee. Men and women beg, haggle, threaten, lie, steal and kill — all for a handful of pills.

"It's the new crack," Knox County Sheriff's Office Lt. John Hopkins said. "Most of the addicts we see don't even shop for Oxys now. They've all switched to Roxies, and it's worse than crack ever was."

Doctors, police and emergency workers see the fallout every day. Sometimes it's a pill-sick addict who steals today to buy tonight's fix. Sometimes it's a baby born shaking with seizures from withdrawal.

Commonly abused prescription drugs

Oxycontin: A time-release form of oxycodone, an opioid painkiller, produced by Purdue Pharma and used to treat chronic pain. Strengths range up to 80 mg per pill. Nicknames include Oxys, O's and hillbilly heroin.

Roxicodone: Instant-release form of oxycodone produced by Xanodyne Pharmaceuticals and used to treat breakthrough pain. Strengths range up to 30 mg per pill. Nicknames include Roxies, blues and stars.

Opana: Time-release form of oxymorphone, a synthetic opioid, produced by Endo Pharmaceuticals. Nicknames include stop signs, biscuits, octagons and Mrs. O.

Methadone: Synthetic opioid, typically prescribed in pill or wafer form, used to treat pain and to ease withdrawal symptoms for opiate addicts.

Percocet, Endocet, Roxicet: Mixtures of oxycodone and acetaminophen.Percodan, Endodan, RoxiprinMixtures of oxycodone and aspirin.

Vicodin, Lortab, Lorcet: Mixtures of hydrocodone and acetaminophen. Nicknames include Vikes and hydros.

Fentanyl: Synthetic opioid, stronger than morphine, typically prescribed in patch or lollipop form. Nicknames include china white and perc-a-pop.

Xanax: Brand name of alprazolam, a benzodiazepine produced by Pfizer and used to treat panic, anxiety and insomnia. Strengths range up to 2 mg. Nicknames include footballs and totem poles.

Valium: Brand name of diazepam, a benzodiazepine produced by Roche and used to treat panic, anxiety and insomnia. Strengths range up to 10 mg.

Klonopin: Brand name of clonazepam, a benzodiazepine produced by Roche and used to treat panic, anxiety and insomnia. Strengths range up to 2 mg.

Ambien: Brand name of zolpidem tartrate, a sedative produced by Sanofi-Aventis. Strengths range up to 10 mg.

Suboxone: Combination of buprenorphine and naloxone, used to treat opiate withdrawal.

Pill Sick: The series

Sunday

Tennessee drug task force waging lonely war on Rx diversion

Law enforcement battling to cut off pain drug pipeline

Drug war's new front makes for unlikely targets

Living for the needle: Addict's life a daily, desperate struggle

Prescription pills are East Tennessee's 'new crack'

A year of pills: Drugs leave trail of damage, crime

Summary findings from the News Sentinel investigation into the pill trade

Sometimes it's a corpse — a dealer killed for pills or an addict who chased the last high off the edge of oblivion.

Oxycodone hydrochloride tablets sell at the pharmacy counter under the brand name Roxicodone and offer quick relief from chronic pain for the old, the aching, the crippled and the dying.

Roxies sell on the street for as much as $30 per pill and offer a high that tops crack, heroin or meth — all without the pesky time-release formula that coats Oxycontin, the drug's sister medication.

"It's the epidemic of the day," Knoxville Police Chief David Rausch said. "Everything is attached to it now. Our investigators will tell you that 90 percent of the folks we see who've committed a crime say it's to get their medicine. That's what they call it — medicine.

"The days of the crack dealer on the corner are slowly waning. It's become the medicine dealer on the street."

Drugs of choice

Three people died last year in South Knox County when two men broke into a former police officer's house to steal legally prescribed painkillers. Police say a North Knoxville man's stepson beat him and his wife to death in August to steal pain pills, then burned down the house to cover up the crime.

A rash of drugstore robberies last fall and winter set a local record. Semiannual drug roundups keep rural jails packed and court dockets clogged.

Officers on the beat report dealing with addicts desperate to avoid jail and the agonies of withdrawal. Sometimes they run. Sometimes they fight.

"We're out here beating the bushes today, and in a few months we'll be out here again doing the same thing," said Capt. David Honeycutt, chief investigator for the Claiborne County Sheriff's Office, as he headed out with a stack of indictments in another drug roundup. "Pills have changed the face of law enforcement. It used to be pot, maybe Valium. Now it's pain pills, and they're crazy as hell on them. You'd be hard-pressed to find a family that's not been hurt by these drugs."

Tennessee topped the nation last year in busts of methamphetamine labs, where addicts churn out toxic waste breaking down cold and sinus pills to produce a homemade stimulant. Meth hasn't gone away, but police say they spend more time and money now fighting to keep the cap on the prescription bottle.

"People are afraid of meth, because everybody doesn't do meth," Newport Police Chief Maurice Shults said. "Everybody doesn't do crack. But everybody's on pills of some kind. Pills come from a doctor. People see that as safe. A doctor gives them out, so they've got to be good."

From Oxy to Roxies

Purdue Pharma's Oxycontin tablets once stood as the gold standard for opiate abusers, with concentrated doses of up to 80 mg of oxycodone locked inside a time-release formula easy to crack. Addicts crushed the pills to powder, then snorted or injected them to turn 12 hours of pain relief into an instant high.

That golden egg gained an extra shell when Purdue introduced a new formula last year meant to cut down on abuse. The second-generation Oxys come wrapped in a sticky gelcap coating that burns nostrils and resists the needle.

Some addicts claim to have found ways to beat the coating. Most don't bother.

Roxicodone and its generic equivalents deliver smaller doses of the same drug to treat the short, sharp bursts of breakthrough pain that plague cancer patients and others between round-the-clock doses of painkillers like Oxy. The pills come in 15 mg and 30 mg strength with no gelcap and no time-release coating, ready to deliver instant relief — or an instant high.

"There's no preparation," said Officer Phil Jinks of the Knoxville Police Department's Repeat Offender Squad. "It's straight out of the bottle."

The easy access and potential for profit have caught on among young and old.

"We're dealing with kids in high school, and we've got people retirement age selling," KCSO Sgt. Chris Bryant said. "Pills are easy to get for kids. We've given several drug education classes to teachers, and the first question is always, 'What are those little blue pills we keep seeing?' Those are Roxies."

Some officials expect the problem will only get worse. Opana, a time-release form of oxymorphone introduced five years ago, and fentanyl, a painkiller 100 times more powerful than morphine, offer a stronger high than the old Oxycontin with an even greater potential for overdosing.

Meanwhile, addicts keep working on ways to crack the new Oxys.

"Any time there's a chemical change, there's somebody out there who can alter the effects of that change," Hamblen County Sheriff Esco Jarnagin said. "I don't think you can stop these people from doing what they're doing. The only thing you can do is try to slow them down."

Addiction's Brain Abnormalities Can Be Reversed

2011-10-31T06:38:00.001Z

Researchers from the University of Minho in Portugal have discovered that rats exposed before birth to glucocorticoids (GC) not only show several brain abnormalities similar to those found in addicts, but become themselves susceptible to addiction (the glucorticoids, which are stress hormones, were used to mimic pre-natal stress). But even more remarkable, Ana João Rodrigues, Nuno Sousa and colleagues were able to reverse all the abnormalities (including the addictive behavior) by giving the animals dopamine (a neurotransmitter/ brain chemical). The study has several implications – for a start it alerts for the dangers of high levels of stress during pregnancy, but - since GC are often prescribed as an anti-inflammatory or to help organ maturation during pregnancy - it also calls for an urgent investigation on the effects of this drug in pregnant women. But it is what we learn about addiction that is most interesting - the work not only unveils stress as a new susceptibility factor for the disease, but also a very simple treatment that, if translated into humans, could one day mean an effective treatment, and maybe even the prevention of human addiction. Drug addiction was for a long time a character flaw, a moral problem. Now, instead, is accepted as the complex brain disease that is with the addict a patient in need of treatment. After all many people try drugs, but only a few become addicts And it is in these few that lays the key to the disease and its treatment. So what do we know about these patients and the disease? First although the psychological and social contexts in which the drug is taken are important, as much as 50% of the compulsion is in the individual’s genetic makeup. We know that addiction is linked to the mesolimbic system - the brain area that evolved to provide feelings of pleasure to actions that increase our survival chances, such as eat, sex and social stimulation. In fact, drugs activate the mesolimbic circuit too, only far stronger than any physiologic stimulus. This leads to the production of very high quantities of dopamine – the brain chemical linked to pleasure – creating the euphoria that brings users back. After while, though, the brain no longer can cope with the constant ” high” and adapts by becoming desensitised to dopamine (produced by any type of stimulus) what leads users to consume more in order to “feel” again and trapping those more susceptible in addiction. And with the brain changes induced by drugs being apparently long-lasting - since both cravings and relapses don’t disappear with time – it is not easy to escape once trapped. Adding another piece to the puzzle, recently the disease was also linked to stress during crucial developmental periods, such as feotal life. In fact, high levels of prenatal stress increase propensity to mental problems and now have been suggested also to substance abuse, with the effects being mediated by glucocorticoids (GC). Normal 0 false false false EN-GB X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 Rodrigues and Sousa’s group have a long history of interest in stress and have seen before that rats from mothers injected with GC while pregnant (mimicking pre-natal stress) show changes in their mesolimbic area and in the dopamine response. So in the study now published, following these results and the addiction-stress link, the researchers investigated the responses to drugs in rats exposed to GC while in the uterus. These rats were found to have a susceptibility to addiction not present in control (non-exposed) rats. When their mesolimbic system was examined they also showed several structural and molecular abnormalities, including less dopamine. The levels of their dopamine receptor Drd2, despite initially being very high, once they experimented drugs, went to abnormally low levels . So why is this important? Because reduced dopamine and Drd2 levels are typical of addicts suggesting that stress and long-term exposure to drugs affect the brain in very similar ways what could explain why the first could lead to the second. Normal 0 false false false EN-GB X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 The good news is that low levels of dopamine can be treated so Rodrigues and colleagues restored the rats’ dopamine levels to normal just to find,much to their surprise, that all the structural and molecular abnormalities induced by prenatal GC were reversed. Even more surprising, the addictive behavior also disappeared. Normal 0 false false false EN-GB X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 As Ana João Rodrigues explains, “This is a remarkable result because it suggests that with a relatively simple pharmacological approach- restoration of dopamine levels- we can eventually treat, and even more importantly, potentially prevent drug abuse in vulnerable individuals. Of course that we still have a long way to go but our results are quite promising. In fact, if we know where susceptibility to substance abuse lies – and low dopamine and altered Drd2 response seems to be it - then maybe we can find better ways to prevent/treat this disorder. “ Restoring dopamine levels has been used to treat cocaine cravings but the few trials looking at its effect on addiction were never very clear. One possible reason might be the length or the dosages used – in Rodrigues’ study, rats treated for 3 days reverted back to an addictive behavior 3 weeks after the end of the treatment, but this no longer occurs if the treatment continues for 3 weeks Now it will be necessary to test this new theory in humans what could be problematic with addicts as they are notoriously not the most cooperative or reliable research subjects. Large human studies on the effect of prenatal stress are also difficult to mount but there are a couple of them being run at the moment that could be tagged into such as “Project Ice Storm” in Canada.This study is following women pregnant n January 98 in southern Québec during an extreme ice storm that led to electrical power failures affecting more than 3 million people for as much as 6 weeks during the coldest month of the year(when temperatures can go to -18 C). It is still early for any studies on addiction(the children are only 13 years old after all) but it will be an interesting place to look, especially since abnormal levels of behavioral and cognitive problems have already been detected by scientists. Drug abuse and addiction carry enormous social and financial costs to society, families and individuals.Only in the US, the National Institute for Drug Abuse calculates that more than600 billion dollars are being spent, annually, to combat the disease. Despite this,a steady increase of drug use among teenagers and in prescription drugs continues with treatments remaining as inefficient as ever. Rodrigues and Sousa’s work might be the first step towards a solution if their remarkable results can be translated into humans.

UC Berkeley researchers pinpoint areas of brain linked with addiction

2011-10-31T06:30:00.001Z

Researchers at UC Berkeley have determined the specific areas of the brain that value and interpret decisions, which they hope may lead to new treatments for individuals who struggle with addiction. By measuring the neural activity of macaque monkeys, researchers were able to pinpoint the two specific ways the brain makes decisions, which they explained in a study published Sunday in the journal Nature Neuroscience. They now understand that neural activity in the brain’s orbitofrontal cortex determines the value of decisions, while neural activity in the anterior cingulate cortex evaluates the difference between expectations and results, which is responsible for future behavior. “The brain is basically a computer, and the neuron is taking information and then giving information that they’ve calculated,” said Jonathan Wallis, associate professor of psychology at UC Berkeley and the principal investigator of the study. “This is the first time we’ve been able to show the specific computation to decision-making in specific areas of the brain. That was really the novelty.” While previous research has determined that these sections of the brain are dysfunctional in addicts, the new research explains how the damage leads to addiction. If these parts of the frontal cortex are impaired, addicts lack the signals that provide them with accurate information about how valuable a choice is, making it less likely that they will learn the consequences of their actions, according to Wallis. “If you’re an addict and this area is impaired, you may not realize your goals, and you potentially are not going to learn from unhealthy decisions,” Wallis said. Wallis and his team conducted the research by testing the neural activity of macaque monkeys as they played games that gauged their ability to make decisions. Researchers could measure the calculations that the monkeys were making in the different areas of the brain, which mimicked the way that humans make decisions. The researchers completed the experiment in 2006 and have spent the last five years analyzing the data. Although still a few steps in the future, the ultimate goal of the study is to use the results to treat for individuals with addictions. “Besides therapy, there is nothing we can do for someone that is severely addicted,” Wallis said. “So far no surgical or pharmaceutical treatments exist. By figuring out what is going on when healthy people are making decisions, we can figure out what is going wrong when addicts make bad decisions and find some ways to target these specific areas of the brain.” While the study has led to a greater understanding of how the brain values decisions, researchers will still need to further investigate how addictive drugs are valued in order to develop more effective treatments, according to Howard Fields, professor of neurology and director of the Wheeler Center for the Neurobiology of Addiction at UC San Francisco. “This is a new and important scientific advance,” Fields said. “It is likely that addiction involves dysfunction of the relation between valuation of outcomes and subsequent decision making. In other words, drugs become overvalued compared to other action outcomes. Only by understanding the relation of valuation to action selection will we fully understand how drugs become addictive. After we do that, we’ll be able to develop more effective treatments.”

Armed guards are to be deployed on British civilian ships for the first time to protect them from pirates,

2011-10-30T11:47:00.001Z

Armed guards are to be deployed on British civilian ships for the first time to protect them from pirates, David Cameron announced today.

A legal ban on weapon-toting protection staff will be relaxed so that firms can apply for a licence to have them on board in danger zones.

The Prime Minister said radical action was required because the increasing ability of sea-borne Somali criminals to hijack and ransom ships had become 'a complete stain on our world'.

He unveiled the measure after talks at a Commonwealth summit in Australia with leaders of countries in the Horn of Africa over the escalating problem faced in waters off their shores.

Under the plans, the Home Secretary will be given the power to license vessels to carry armed security, including automatic weapons, currently prohibited under firearms laws.

Officials said around 200 ships were expected to be in line to take up the offer, which would only apply for voyages through particular waters in the affected region.

It is expected to be used by commercial firms, rather than private sailors such as hostage victims Paul and Rachel Chandler.

Pirates: There are around 50 ships currently being held hostage

Asked if he was comfortable with giving private security operatives the right to 'shoot to kill' if necessary, Mr Cameron told BBC1's Andrew Marr Show: 'We have to make choices.

'Frankly the extent of the hijack and ransom of ships round the Horn of Africa is a complete stain on our world.

'The fact that a bunch of pirates in Somalia are managing to hold to ransom the rest of the world and our trading system is a complete insult and the rest of the world needs to come together with much more vigour.

Drug That Killed Michael Jackson "Was Self-Injected"

2011-10-30T11:04:00.001Z

The jury hear evidence that MJ had also taken a large number of sleeping pills… 08:42, Sunday, 30 October 2011 The last defence witness in the trial of Dr Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson’s personal physician, has told the courtroom that he believed the star was responsible for his own death. Dr Paul White told jurors that the most likely cause of death was self-injection of a fatal dose of the anesthetic Propofol, after Murray had already administered a small amount. "With the administration of the additional 25 milligrams that we're speculating was self-injected by Mr Jackson, the level increases rapidly and at the time of death would be almost identical to the level found in the urine at autopsy," Dr White said. He revealed that the superstar also appeared to have taken a large dose of sedatives – eight Lorazepam tablets – earlier in the night without Murray’s knowledge. White said that mixing the two drugs would be deadly. "The combination effect is potentially profound." Earlier this week a specialist testified that Michael may have also been addicted to the painkiller Demerol, and was also a regular user of Botox. Murray is charged with involuntary manslaughter into the star’s untimely death in June 2009. The prosecution has already presented four weeks of evidence so it won’t be long before the jurors retire to decide the verdict. Michael’s sister Janet Jackson recently postponed tour dates in Australia in order to be in LA when the verdict is announced. She explained her decision in a statement: "When I planned these shows, the schedule in California was completely different. After talking with my family last night, I decided we must be together right now.”

The Occupy London Stock Exchange protest encampment outside St Paul's Cathedral.

2011-10-30T10:21:00.001Z

Photograph: Oli Scarff/Getty Images

Christian groups have drawn up plans to protect protesters by forming a ring of prayer around the camp outside St Paul's Cathedral, should an attempt be made to forcibly remove them.

As the storm of controversy over the handling of the Occupy LondonStock Exchange demonstration deepened on Saturday, Christian activists said it was their duty to stand up for peaceful protest in the absence of support from St Paul's. One Christian protester, Tanya Paton, said: "We represent peace, unity and love. A ring of prayer is a wonderful symbol."

With senior officials at St Paul's apparently intent on seeking an injunction to break up the protest, the director of the influential religious thinktank Ekklesia, Jonathan Bartley, said the cathedral's handling of the protest had been a "car crash" and predicted more high-profile resignations from the Church of England.

The canon chancellor of St Paul's, Dr Giles Fraser, and the Rev Fraser Dyer, who works as a chaplain at the cathedral, have already stepped down over the decision to pursue legal action to break up the camp.

Meanwhile, it has emerged that Shami Chakrabarti, director of the human rights group Liberty, is attempting to mediate in the dispute. She said she had contacted the corporation, cathedral and protesters to offer a "neutral space" to sort out the impasse. The corporation had not yet responded, she said, although St Paul's had acknowledged her offer. She said the protesters had been enthusiastic in their desire for dialogue and a peaceful resolution.

"It would have been easy to opt for a line of action that would have led to images of police dragging away protesters, but they want to talk."

It was claimed last night that a highly critical report into the moral standards of bankers has been suppressed by St Paul's amid fears it would inflame tensions over the protest. The report, based on a survey of 500 City workers who were asked if they thought they were worth their salaries and bonuses, was due to be published last Thursday.

But publication of the report, by the St Paul's Institute, has been delayed in apparent acknowledgement that it would give the impression the cathedral was on the side of protesters.

Christian groups that have publicly sided with the protesters include one of the oldest Christian charities, the Fellowship of Reconciliation, and the oldest national student organisation, the Student Christian Movement,Christianity Uncut, the Zacchaeus 2000 Trust and the Christian magazineThird Way. In addition, London Catholic Worker, the Society of Sacramental Socialists and Quaker groups have offered their support.

A statement by the groups said: "As Christians, we stand alongside people of all religions who are resisting economic injustice with active nonviolence. The global economic system perpetuates the wealth of the few at the expense of the many. It is based on idolatrous subservience to markets. We cannot worship both God and money."

Bartley said: "There are some very unhappy people within the Church of England. The protesters seem to articulate many of the issues that the church has paid lip-service to. Many people are disillusioned with the position St Paul's has adopted. To evict rather than offer sanctuary is contrary to what many people think the church is all about. The whole thing has been a car crash."

On Saturday afternoon, more than 20 religious figures gathered on the steps of St Paul's to support the occupation, which began two weeks ago.

The bishop of London, the Right Rev Richard Chartres, has promised to attend St Paul's in an attempt to persuade activists to leave. But protesters say they have no intention of packing up, many reiterating their intention to stay at the cathedral until Christmas and beyond.

A spokesman for Occupy London urged the City of London Corporation to open a dialogue with protesters to avoid a lengthy legal battle that could prove expensive for the taxpayer.

Claus Mogensen 45 years old is a chronic drug addict who lives in Arhus,Denmark.

2011-10-28T12:04:00.001Z

Clause takes a nap at his room to cool down his system.

ID: 898947

More Info

Waking up every day with a craving for a substance which has not only destroyed your life but has also taken away your brother,everyone's trust in you, and puts you in the
same categories as the lowest members of society,ever wondered what is it like?
Claus Mogensen 45 years old is a chronic drug addict who lives in Arhus,Denmark.He is noticeably shaking and restless as he sits down on the mattress in the
small, dirty living room.The surroundings seem to lack everything, as if all the valuables and appliances that once sat in this small, deteriorating room has been used to barter for
more drugs.Claus goes to his empty fridge and removes three small bottles of Methadone dosage prescribed by his doctor which he has to take everyday.
Methadone is a narcotic pain reliever, similar to Morphine. It reduces withdrawal symptoms in people addicted to heroin or other narcotic drugs without causing the "high"
associated with the drug addiction.Clauses older brother was on heroin and died six years ago due to overdose. "That shocked the sense out of me,but i haven`t been able to stop using it"says Claus.
I remember smoking tobacco when i was 14 and was given cigarettes by my friend.During lunch hour at school we used to sneak out to smoke. I continued smoking until i was 18 years old then I started using Marijuana."I did not feel high i wondered why people smoke it" he says.
I smoked it because my friends used it,peer pressure you could call it. His school grades started dropping down because he lost concentration in class due to excess of marijuana.He then dropped out of school and never continued with his secondary education.At the age of 19, during a new year party there were people taking cocaine and some of my friends talked me into trying some.I remember feeling so warm and secure.At this point Claus would do just a little bit of it at a time to make the feeling and the supply last as long as possible.I started out doing it only on the weekends.

Then it wasn’t long afterwards, he started buying for his own. Soon he was doing it every weekend. It became the main focus of all his activities.I liked traveling a lot and everywhere I went with my friends we wanted to have cocaine.It made the experience a lot more fun and enjoyable.Other friends we met really appreciated us having some really good stuff and it made me feel like I was important and gave me a powerful sense of control.
He takes a one minute nap while seated at a chair during the conversation and immediately wakes up and apologizes.

He used cocaine for some years before his taste in drugs turned to heroin.At the age of 24 he became addicted to it.On the 6th December 1989 he was admitted at a psychiatric
hospital for mental disorder because of excessive usage of heroin. "I dont know what happened but i became dependant on it and i kept using more" he says.
Claus has been in and out of the psychiatric hospital for many years.The treatment did not only work on his mental health but also his love life,in 2004 while at the hospital he fell in love with 55 years Lene who was also undergoing treatment on mental disorder at the time. They both fell for each other and have been together for six years now. "I used to feel rejected and lonely but after meeting her ,it made me feel appreciated and loved despite the fact that i have my addiction,"he says.
Both live apart and don`t have kids.

He admits that he cannot perform any job without a dose of Cocaine fuelling his system and that does not come cheaply since one dose of the kill-me-slowly powder costs
DKK180. “Drugs have definitely become part of my body system and I cannot do without. I don’t even fear the police or dread contracting diseases any more,” he says.
In February this year Denmark opened its first clinic equipped to distribute free heroin under medical supervision to people heavily addicted to the drug.The clinic is set to serve
only 120 of some 300 hard-core heroin addicts.The objective is not to cure heroin addicts, but to help those who are not satisfied by Methadone by providing them with clean
heroin, allowing them to avoid disease and the temptation of criminal acts to obtain the drug.
Clause is one of the beneficiaries.He receives his doses everyday and he prefers methadone to injecting himself but still he sniffs cocaine. He receives DKK 13,000 per month
from the government for his upkeep which mostly he uses to buy cocaine. Each cocaine addict needs roughly DKK 300 a day to satisfy his or her crave. This amounts to DKK 109,500 Thousand per year to spent on cocaine alone.

According to the 2009 report on the drug situation in Denmark prepared by the National Board of Health, the Danish “Focal Point”,there are an estimated 13,000 intravenous drug users in Denmark.It also states that In 2008, more than half (61%) of the young population aged between 18 and 24 years was admitted to treatment for cannabis use as their primary drug, whereas 17%, 6% and 2%, respectively, of the young population were admitted to treatment for use of amphetamine, cocaine and ecstasy as their primary drug. Globally, United Nation Office On Drug and Crime estimates that between 155 and 250 million people, or 3.5% to 5.7% of the population aged 15-64, had used illicit substances at least once in the previous year. Cannabis users comprise the largest number of illicit drug users(129-190 million people). Amphetamine-type stimulants are the second most commonly used illicit drugs, followed by opiates and cocaine. However, in terms of harm associated with use, opiates(Heroin, Morphine)
would be ranked at the top.

Deadly Drug Overdose Leads to Pill-Pushing Doctor

2011-10-28T11:53:00.001Z

Montgomery County doctor and his son surrendered to police Thursday morning after investigators discovered that they were supplying known drug addicts with large supplies of narcotics, according to authorities. At least one person died of an overdose on Dr. Richard Ruth's drugs, police say. Ruth, of Souderton, was performing insincere medical exams for drug seekers and then providing them with prescription drugs that often ended up being sold in large quantities on the street, police say. Ruth has been running this drug operation for years, authorities say. The lengthy police investigation into Ruth's alleged crimes was called "Operation Pill Pusher." "We know that this community has been plagued by prescription drug abuse and overdoses and this was the go-to guy in the community," said District Attorney Risa Vetri Ferman. Ruth’s son, Michael Ruth, was his medical assistant. "For them to come in and say he’s unlawfully doing things is just an atrocity," a teary-eyed Michael told NBC Philadelphia’s Denise Nakano. Michael also faces charges in the drug scheme that involved charging patients for the narcotic prescriptions and insurance companies for the bogus office visits, police say. Police were tipped off to Dr. Ruth’s drug dealing scheme when sources told them last September that they were able to obtain large amounts of oxycodone from the doctor. In addition to providing drugs to people who dealt them on the street, Dr. Ruth ignored pleas from family members of the drug-addicted patients who asked him to stop prescribing drugs like Percocet and Oxycodone, police say. Dr. Ruth was charged with more than 40 counts of fraud, knowingly prescribing to drug addicts, prescription fraud, and conspiracy, among others. His son Michael was charged with similar crimes.